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Band 3

Some people think that living ịn big cities is bad for people's health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #ịn #cities #health
living in
abig
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a big
city
 with all of facltieces could be
intresting
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interesting
 for
alot
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a lot
 of people ,
However
 there are some people
whose
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 don't prefer
lived
Change the verb form
to live
show examples
 in crowded cities , In my opinion I love
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
quite
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quiet
show examples
 places but
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 time l
ilke
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like
 to get all
the
Correct article usage
the the
show examples
 services in modern
city
.
this
 essay will discuss both view points . first living in a big
city
 could be a nice way for people to get
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
works
Correct the article-noun agreement
work
show examples
 and
leved
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lived
besid
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beside
behind
 it ,
Morover
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Moreover
, to
found
Wrong verb form
find
show examples
 the services and
faclitices
Correct your spelling
facilities
 they want ,
in stance
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instance
show examples
, restaurants , parks ,
pool
Correct article usage
a pool
show examples
, clubs
ang
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and
 gam sport,
Also
, they can found
oporunities
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opportunities
 for doing anwe activities ,
for
example
Add the comma(s)
example,
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 play with
foot ball
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football
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 team ..or
wporks
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works
work
 in new projects.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
other
Correct article usage
the other
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 hand ,
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there
thre
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there
 are
agroup
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a group
 who like to sit in small
village
Fix the agreement mistake
villages
show examples
 very far from the
Correct your spelling
city
citiy
Correct your spelling
city
 annoyance ,they
lives
Change the verb form
live
show examples
 with simple tools because they think
this
life
styel
Correct your spelling
style
 of
life
 can
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protect
prodect
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protect
 them from diseases .
additionally
 they
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breath
brith
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bring
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fresh air
contrast
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in contrast
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the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
poulltion
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population
position
 of the cars in the
cityies
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cities
 ,
furtheremore
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furthermore
 ,
the
Replace the word
Physical
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psicology
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psychology
 health is
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
better
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 individuals
they
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 live in a big
city
 they
dont
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don't
 each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
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oppisit
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opposite
opposit
 of them
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 have strong
relationchips
Correct your spelling
relationships
.
To
Change preposition
In
show examples
 conclusion, I
partically
Correct your spelling
partially
particularly
 agree with the first group who prefer
loving
Correct your spelling
living
show examples
 in cities and I more with the second group
Correct pronoun usage
who life
show examples
life
Replace the word
live
show examples
styel
Correct your spelling
style
to keep my mental
healtly
Correct your spelling
health
healthy
 to complete my
life
 .
Submitted by remalkhamis891 on

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task achievement
Work on grammar and sentence structure to make your ideas clearer.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that summarize your main points.
task achievement
Include more relevant examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Focus on the logical flow of your ideas to improve readability.
task achievement
You have addressed both viewpoints.
coherence cohesion
Your essay attempts to cover a range of points related to the benefits and drawbacks of living in a big city.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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