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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The line graph shows the percentages of Australian exports with four countries. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The line graph shows the percentages of Australian exports with four countries. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
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The line graph demonstrates the proportion of exports made by Australia to
Japan
Use synonyms
,
United
Correct article usage
the United
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states
Capitalize word
States
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 of America,
China
Use synonyms
 and
India
Use synonyms
 between 1990 and 2002.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be concluded that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
Japan
Use synonyms
, the major importer of Australian goods
initially
Linking Words
, was overtaken by
China
Use synonyms
at the
Linking Words
end
Use synonyms
 of the period. A minimised trade was reported with
India
Use synonyms
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
throughout the period. In the year 1990, about 1/4th of Australian products were exported to
Japan
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 States received just
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
10%. A diminished trade was exhibited by both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
countries for a span of five years. After 1995
Japan
Use synonyms
 continued the trend for the next five years and almost remained
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 a plateau at about 18%,
whereas
Linking Words
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 States was limited to just about 7% by the
end
Use synonyms
 of the period.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the other two countries, namely,
India
Use synonyms
 and
China
Use synonyms
 were not in the spotlight as they were traded to less than 5% in the year 1990, with
India
Use synonyms
to be
Change the verb form
being
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 the least. Indian imports from Australia remained in a plateau for a decade after which they were raised to above 5% but
finally
Linking Words
 managed to stay stable at 5% by the
end
Use synonyms
 of the time.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the trade between Australia and
China
Use synonyms
 was maximised over the course of time and about 30% of the Australian exports were to
this
Linking Words
 country by the
end
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words japan, china, india, end with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "plateau" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • line graph
  • percentages
  • exports
  • trend
  • upward trend
  • downward trend
  • fluctuations
  • stable
  • economic ties
  • demand
  • decline
  • recovery
  • policy changes
  • trade relationship
  • fluctuation
  • peak
  • temporary surge
  • specific events
  • incentives
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