Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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It is argued that the government should discontinue harmful

sports

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while

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others believe it is a personal choice.

This

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essay discusses the reasons why I agree with the idea of banning these types of

sports

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and how damaging they can be. On the one hand, people who support the freedom of choice believe that players

engaged

Wrong verb form

engage

show examples

in dangerous

sports

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practice regularly and become skilled at handling risks.

For example

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, Formula 1 drivers are trained to drive at high speeds and know how to act in case of an accident,

such

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as locating the nearest help point and freeing themselves from a damaged car.

Although

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this

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may be true for some

sports

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, I still don't agree with allowing people to engage in

such

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activities.

On the other hand

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, those who believe harmful

sports

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should be banned argue that these activities are life-threatening and can result in death or long-term injuries that are difficult to recover from.

Furthermore

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, these health issues require extensive medical care, placing a heavy burden on the healthcare system.

For instance

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, in some Arab countries, young men race at high speeds down main streets late at night.

As a result

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, many who have accidents end up in hospitals for extended periods, receiving physical therapy to regain their normal lives. In conclusion,

although

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some individuals believe that engaging in hazardous

sports

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is a personal choice and they are aware of the risks, I and many others think that these

sports

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should be banned by authorities

due to

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their health threats and negative impact on the healthcare system.

hebadyalaMon Jul 15 2024

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task response

Try to balance the points in favor and against the topic a bit more equally. Currently, the argument for banning dangerous sports is stronger and more detailed than the argument against it. Adding more depth to both sides will enhance your essay's balance.

coherence cohesion

Make sure that the ideas are consistently clear throughout the essay. Some sentences, like 'As a result, many who have accidents end up in hospitals for extended periods, receiving physical therapy to regain their normal lives,' could be rephrased for better clarity.

coherence cohesion

The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, making it easy to follow the arguments.

task response

The arguments are supported with relevant examples, such as those related to Formula 1 drivers and young men racing in Arab countries.

task response

The essay remains focused on the topic, clearly discussing both viewpoints and providing a personal opinion, which aligns well with the requirements of the task.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

severe injuries
fatalities
base jumping
bull running
extreme skiing
safeguard
well-being
regulating
avoidable harm
healthcare costs
burdening
personal freedom
autonomy
training
equipment
mitigated
personal satisfaction
mental health benefits
resilience
adventure
assess risks
public safety
unnecessary healthcare costs
outright bans
balanced approach
stringent safety standards
mandatory training sessions
adequately informed
safeguarding
public health

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Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.