Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

It is argued that the government should discontinue harmful
sports
,
while
others believe it is a personal choice.
This
essay discusses the reasons why I agree with the idea of banning these types of
sports
and how damaging they can be. On the one hand, people who support the freedom of choice believe that players
engaged
Wrong verb form
engage
show examples
in dangerous
sports
practice regularly and become skilled at handling risks.
For example
, Formula 1 drivers are trained to drive at high speeds and know how to act in case of an accident,
such
as locating the nearest help point and freeing themselves from a damaged car.
Although
this
may be true for some
sports
, I still don't agree with allowing people to engage in
such
activities.
On the other hand
, those who believe harmful
sports
should be banned argue that these activities are life-threatening and can result in death or long-term injuries that are difficult to recover from.
Furthermore
, these health issues require extensive medical care, placing a heavy burden on the healthcare system.
For instance
, in some Arab countries, young men race at high speeds down main streets late at night.
As a result
, many who have accidents end up in hospitals for extended periods, receiving physical therapy to regain their normal lives. In conclusion,
although
some individuals believe that engaging in hazardous
sports
is a personal choice and they are aware of the risks, I and many others think that these
sports
should be banned by authorities
due to
their health threats and negative impact on the healthcare system.
Submitted by hebadyala on

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task response
Try to balance the points in favor and against the topic a bit more equally. Currently, the argument for banning dangerous sports is stronger and more detailed than the argument against it. Adding more depth to both sides will enhance your essay's balance.
coherence cohesion
Make sure that the ideas are consistently clear throughout the essay. Some sentences, like 'As a result, many who have accidents end up in hospitals for extended periods, receiving physical therapy to regain their normal lives,' could be rephrased for better clarity.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, making it easy to follow the arguments.
task response
The arguments are supported with relevant examples, such as those related to Formula 1 drivers and young men racing in Arab countries.
task response
The essay remains focused on the topic, clearly discussing both viewpoints and providing a personal opinion, which aligns well with the requirements of the task.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • severe injuries
  • fatalities
  • base jumping
  • bull running
  • extreme skiing
  • safeguard
  • well-being
  • regulating
  • avoidable harm
  • healthcare costs
  • burdening
  • personal freedom
  • autonomy
  • training
  • equipment
  • mitigated
  • personal satisfaction
  • mental health benefits
  • resilience
  • adventure
  • assess risks
  • public safety
  • unnecessary healthcare costs
  • outright bans
  • balanced approach
  • stringent safety standards
  • mandatory training sessions
  • adequately informed
  • safeguarding
  • public health
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