Some people feel that music should be taught in school while others believe it is better to focus on the sciences. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
The debate over whether
music
should be taught in scholls
alongside core subjects like the Correct your spelling
schools
sciences
is ongoing. Some argue that music
education
is essential for well-rounded
curriculum, Correct article usage
a well-rounded
while
others believe that a stronger emphasis on science
is more beneficial for students
' future prospects. Both
perspectives have valid points, but I believe a balanced approach is ideal.
Proponents of music
education
that
is
Correct your spelling
it
play
a crucial role in the Wrong verb form
plays
overall
development of students
. Music
can enhance creativity, improve cognitive abilities, and foster emotional expression. Studies have shown that learning music
can improve memory, ettention
, and even mathematical skills. Correct your spelling
attention
Furthermore
, music
education
can provide students
with a sence
of accomplishment and boost their self-esteem. Correct your spelling
sense
For instance
, participating in a school band of
Correct your spelling
or
choir
can teach Add an article
the choir
a choir
temwork
and Correct your spelling
teamwork
dicipline
, skills that are transferable to other areas of life.
Correct your spelling
discipline
On the other hand
, those who advocate for greater
focus on the Correct article usage
a greater
sciences
emphasize the practical benefits of science
education
. In today's technology-driven world, proficiency in science
, technology, engineering, and mathematics (STEM) subjects is increasingly important. A solid foundation in the sciences
can open up numerous career opportunities and is essential for national progress and innovation. Given the global demand for professionals in STEM fields, prioritizing science
educaiton
can better prepare Correct your spelling
education
students
for the job market and contribute to economic growth.
While
the improtance
of Correct your spelling
importance
science
education
cannot be overstated, it should not com
at the Correct your spelling
come
expence
of art. A well-rounded Correct your spelling
expense
education
that includes both
music
and sciences
can provide students
with a more holistic learning experience. Music
and science
are not mutually exclusive; rather, they complement each other. Music
can stimulare
creativity and innovative thinking, which are valuable in scientific Correct your spelling
stimulate
endeavors
.
In conclusion, Change the spelling
endeavours
while
the emphasis on science
education
is undeniably important in today's world, music
education
should not be neglected. Both
disciplines offer unique benefits that contribute to the development of well-rounded, capable individuals. A balanced curriculum that includes both
music
and sciences
can provide students
with a comprehensive education
, fostering both
intellectual growth and creative expression.Submitted by alyalihan28 on
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lexical resource
To enhance lexical resource, work on vocabulary diversity and accurate word choice. Some words are misspelled, such as 'scholls' instead of 'schools', 'ettention' instead of 'attention', 'sence' instead of 'sense', and 'dicipline' instead of 'discipline'. Proofreading can help catch these errors.
grammatical range and accuracy
For grammatical range and accuracy, be mindful of sentence structure and verb agreement. For example, 'Proponents of music education that is play...' should be restructured for clarity, and 'participating in a school band of choir can teach temwork...' should be 'participating in a school band or choir can teach teamwork'.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view of the topic and argues convincingly for the value of both music and science education.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is clear, with a good introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
The main points are supported with relevant examples, such as the benefits of music education on cognitive abilities and the practical advantages of science education.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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