Films and games can be accessed at any time from mobile devices, like smartphones, tablets and laptop computers. Do advantages outweigh disadvantage?

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In recent years, the ability to access films and
games
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at any
time
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through mobile phones has become increasingly common.
While
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this
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trend brings both benefits and disadvantages, I believe that advantages are more significant in today’s fast-paced world.
To begin
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with, one of the greatest benefits is increased accessibility.
People
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are no longer restricted by location and
time
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. Whether someone is travelling, waiting for the bus or taking a break at work, they can easily watch videos or play
games
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.
This
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offers an effective way to escape from boredom and relax.
Moreover
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, the development of mobile apps and streaming platforms has made entertainment more affordable and inclusive. Many
people
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who could not afford cinema tickets or
games
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in the past now have access to
this
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entertainment via some websites and free apps.
Therefore
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, the developments in mobile apps and streaming platforms help to remove the economic gap between
people
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by making it accessible to everyone.
On the other hand
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,
this
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easy access has some drawbacks, particularly in terms of overuse. Excessive screen
time
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can lead to physical health problems
such
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as eye strain and sleep disruption.
In addition
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, it may lead to a more sedentary lifestyle and reduced face-to-face interaction with
people
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.
For instance
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, nowadays many young
people
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are becoming less social and active
due to
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excessive screen
time
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, affecting their academic performance.
This
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issue can be tackled effectively with balanced screen
time
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management. In conclusion,
while
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the availability of films and
games
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on mobile devices can lead to certain negative effects, the advantages
such
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as greater convenience and affordability clearly outweigh its drawbacks.

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task achievement
Your introduction presents a clear thesis statement that outlines your argument effectively. However, you could strengthen it by briefly mentioning the main points you will discuss in the body paragraphs for added clarity.
coherence and cohesion
While your ideas are well-organized and logically sequenced, consider using clearer linking words or phrases to enhance cohesion between sentences and paragraphs. This will ensure a smooth flow of ideas.
task achievement
Your examples support your points adequately, but including more specific data or studies could enhance the relevance and depth of your arguments. This would demonstrate a broader understanding of the topic.
content
Your essay effectively highlights the increased accessibility of films and games as a major benefit, along with a thoughtful consideration of the potential drawbacks. This demonstrates a balanced perspective on the issue.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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