Some people say that industrial growth is necessary to solve poverty, but some other people argue that industrial growth should be stopped. Discuss both views.
Some
individuals
are of the view that the growth
of industries
is leading to poverty
and government
Correct article usage
the government
need
to put Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
hold
on it, Add an article
a hold
whiles
Replace the word
while
other
believe that the Fix the agreement mistake
others
growth
of industries
rather address poverty
. The essay will elaborate both
the writer's Change preposition
on both
view
.
Fix the agreement mistake
views
To begin
with, the growth
of industries
is the major cause of poverty
in some countries. Construction of industries
consume
vast land and properties Correct subject-verb agreement
consumes
such
as homes, shops and small businesses sometimes faces
Correct subject-verb agreement
face
demolishing
for new construction of factories thereby leading to Replace the word
demolition
poverty
among those individuals
living there. Some become homeless and jobless as a result
of relocation to new
area. Another point is, Add an article
a new
the new
the
Correct word choice
that the
growth
industries
may result in higher costs of living in those vicinity
since Change the determiner
that vicinity
those vicinities
cost
of rent and food goes higher thereby leading to Add an article
the cost
poverty
among low-income families.
On the other hand
, the growth
of industries
promotes employment opportunity
for those in the country. Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
Such
as graduation and the youth. If those people in the
society Correct article usage
apply
gets
jobs after completion of school,many tend to be responsible in future and Change the verb form
get
crime
rate Correct article usage
the crime
among
Change preposition
in
the
society Correct article usage
apply
reduces
. Another point is, Wrong verb form
will reduce
it
leads to the Correct word choice
that it
growth
of businesses and boosts income. Since the people in those society
are working, purchasing power increases Change the determiner
that society
those societies
which
business owners get enough profits from sales. Correct word choice
and
For instance
buying and selling increases. To add up import of goods reduces and people tend to patronize locally made goods and this
promotes growth
and productivity among individuals
where poverty
reduceses
.
In conclusion, industrial Correct your spelling
reduces
growth
solves poverty
by creating employment rate
among Fix the agreement mistake
rates
individuals
and growth
of businesses and boosts income. Whereas others
Correct word choice
Others
argued
that it can lead to Wrong verb form
argue
poverty
by demolishing of
homes and Change preposition
apply
industries
.Submitted by priscillaagyeiwaaboahen on
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task achievement
You should work on providing more specific and detailed examples to support your arguments. This would help in making your points more convincing and your essay stronger.
coherence cohesion
Try to improve your logical structure by ensuring that each paragraph flows naturally to the next. Use more transition words and phrases to help with this. It will make the essay easier to read and understand.
general
Pay attention to grammar and vocabulary to ensure clarity in your writing. While minor errors do not severely impact your score, improving this aspect can make your essay more polished and professional.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This helps the reader follow your argument.
task achievement
You have successfully discussed both views, providing a balanced perspective on the issue.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are generally clear and you have a logical approach to discussing the topic.