People think that the news media has influenced people’s lives nowadays and it is a negative development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It argued that
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these days
indivduals
Correct your spelling
individuals
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
affect
Change the verb form
affected
show examples
by
news
on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
media
, and it is a bad development.
While
social
media
is
imporatnt
Correct your spelling
important
in our lives, I totally agree with
Correct article usage
the fisrt
show examples
fisrt statment
Correct your spelling
first statement
because
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
show examples
news
on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
media
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
true, and many governments use
thses
Correct your spelling
these
this
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
for their purpose.
Firstly
, we follow many
media
websites to know what
happen
Wrong verb form
is happening
show examples
in the world but sometimes these new unreal, some websites
puts
Change the verb form
put
show examples
wrong information to make
people
read their
news
.
This
is increasing their views and they earn more money by using
this
method.
However
,
people
now
Add a missing verb
are now
show examples
aware of
this
and they do not trust any website except professional websites.
For example
,
recent
Add an article
a recent
show examples
survey found that a lot of
media
's
news
incorrect
Add a missing verb
is incorrect
show examples
, because they focused
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
their views and how they could earn more money. The other reason why
news
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
media
has a bad effect
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
our lives is some governments use it to focus on something and make their
people
think it is an important thing
while
it is
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
show examples
, so they make
people
focus
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
something rather than other things.
For example
, there was a story about how
Correct article usage
the governemnt
show examples
governemnt
Correct your spelling
governments
use
news
to direct their
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
, which means they
puts
Change the verb form
put
show examples
specaific
Correct your spelling
specific
news
about
somethings
Correct your spelling
some things
show examples
and
this
effect
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their societies
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
indirect
Correct article usage
an indirect
show examples
way. In conclusion,
news
media
is a
worse
Correct word choice
bad
show examples
idea that has
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
effect
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
lives, because they
say
Verb problem
give
show examples
incorrect information, and sometimes it has
hide
Replace the word
a hidden
show examples
purpose. It recommended that
news
media
has to be
truth
Replace the word
true
show examples
and without any purpose to make
people
know
Correct your spelling
everything
everythings
Correct your spelling
everything
Submitted by saja.alotaibi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that you write a clear and concise thesis statement in your introduction and stick to it throughout the essay. Try to give more comprehensive reasons and examples to support your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on your paragraphing to enhance the logical flow of your essay. Each paragraph should contain only one main idea that is supported and expanded upon. Also, linking words could be used more effectively to connect your ideas.
language accuracy
Pay careful attention to grammatical accuracy, spelling, and punctuation. There are numerous small errors in your essay that could be avoided with careful proofreading.
essay structure
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which is good practice for essay writing. Your points are relevant to the topic and you have provided some examples to support your ideas.
understanding
Your essay addressed the topic directly and you made logical points, showing your understanding of the prompt.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: