In the 20th century, contact between many different parts of the world has developed rapidly through air travel and telecommunications. Do advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
There has always been a debatable discussion in
this
modern world regarding of
how effortless it is to travel by Change preposition
apply
airplane
and there is a massive Change the spelling
aeroplane
changes
in the telecommunications form. I personally believe these rapid development advantages outweigh the disadvantages Change the noun form
change
due to
following
reasonsCorrect article usage
the following
below
.
Rephrase
apply
To begin
with, nowadays the
air travel is crucial Correct article usage
apply
due to
the changing world. It is one of the important transportation mode
that could connect Change to a plural noun
modes
people
easily with from another region in a shorter time. The media of communication also
transformed, and these days people
prefer to utilize messaging app
since Fix the agreement mistake
apps
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
could
deliver Wrong verb form
can
our
messages or have a call with them in no time. The shift from old to modern technology leads Correct pronoun usage
their
people
to be closer with
each other, no matter how far they are. To illustrate, Change preposition
to
people
only need to arrange a call or text message to communicate with a person. In addition
, it does not takes
time to meet a person from another country with an Change the verb form
take
airplane
, it will be beneficial during an emergency if they are required to be in a certain place as soon as possible.
Change the spelling
aeroplane
On the contrary
, the shift in technology also
brings a negative impact in
Change preposition
on
the
well-being. Nowadays, it is easier to connect with Correct article usage
apply
people
, thus
, it could increase the rates of cyber-bullying on the internet. It will negatively affect the children since it will encourage them to perform a similar action, or instead
, to get bullied from
the internet.
In conclusion, Change preposition
on
i
strongly support the Change the capitalization
I
ideas
of Fix the agreement mistake
idea
the
swift changes in Correct article usage
apply
the
technology and air travel since it will Correct article usage
apply
makes
Wrong verb form
make
people
seamlessly connected with each other. However
, there is also
a harmful implication if people
do not behave carefully on the
social media that will affect to mental health and well-being.Correct article usage
apply
Submitted by debbychrist10 on
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task achievement
To enhance your task response, include more relevant specific examples. For instance, mention a specific scenario where air travel or telecommunications improved someone's life or cite statistical data.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear, but try to develop them further with additional details and explanations. This will make your arguments stronger and your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure each paragraph flows smoothly to the next. This can be achieved by using more linking words and phrases like 'furthermore,' 'in addition,' and 'consequently.'
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical structure of your essay. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on one main idea and that each idea is fully developed before moving to the next.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame the essay topic.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of rapid technological development in air travel and telecommunications, demonstrating a balanced view.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.