IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Do you agree or disagree that we can learn more from people who are higher level than us like teachers than from people who are at same level as us?

#people #level #teachers
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It has been observed that learning from
people
Use synonyms
 who have more experience than us like our tutors is beneficial as compared to our peers because of the same intellect
level
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. I do not agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because knowledge can be imparted by anyone, regardless of their
age
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. The essay will provide
from
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apply
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supportive points.
Firstly
Linking Words
, learning should never be restricted by
age
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 as knowledge is about information anyone gathers in
one'
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one's
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 life and that can be attained early in life or later in life.
For instance
Linking Words
, these days young children are learning coding at
school
Correct article usage
the school
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level
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 and many of them are able to finish learning a computer language by the time they graduate from high school.
Thus
Linking Words
, it is rightly said that one can learn from anyone without any
age
Use synonyms
 barrier.
Secondly
Linking Words
, studying from individuals who are at
same
Correct article usage
the same
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level
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 becomes
more easy
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easier
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due to
Linking Words
 the comfort
level
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 shared by
people
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. Some
people
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 feel more confident when asking about doubts from their
age
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 mates in comparison to teachers
due to
Linking Words
 the relatability factor between them. To illustrate, students who are weak in any subject tend to perform better when they study with peers who have a better understanding of the
subjec
Correct your spelling
subject
.
Therefore
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,
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age biased
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age-biased
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 criteria should not be there in terms of
leaning
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learning
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 as
this
Linking Words
 will impact badly on a few individuals. In
conlusion
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conclusion
, there is no doubt that learning from
people
Use synonyms
 who are at
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
level
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 does bring a sense of connectivity and likeability among them but guidance and mentorship
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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also
Linking Words
 equally important that can only be given by
people
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 who have
ore
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more
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 experience than us.
Therefore
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, a more balanced approach should be
implied
Verb problem
implemented
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 in educational institutes for better learning.
Submitted by bindiya.gupta01 on

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task achievement
Try to have a stronger thesis statement in the introduction that clearly outlines your stance and what you will discuss in your essay.
task achievement
Ensure that your main points are elaborated clearly and comprehensively. This will help make your argument more compelling and easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs to enhance the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Proofread your essay for minor grammatical errors and typos to ensure clarity and precision.
coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a clear and coherent argument on the topic. Your points are logically structured and easy to follow.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples to support your main points, which adds weight to your argument.
task achievement
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a balanced viewpoint.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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