people can be encouraged to live healthy through sporting events such as 0lympics or World Cup. Others think that there are more better ways to encourage adults for exercise. Discuss both views and state you opinion.
These days,
youngsters
indeed are Use synonyms
lazy
to do. physical Rephrase
too lazy
exercise
. Use synonyms
A certain
individuals are concerned that Correct the article-noun agreement
Certain
Correct article usage
the olympic
olympic
games and Change the capitalization
Olympic
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the world
world
Correct your spelling
World Cup
cup
can Use synonyms
be motivated
Wrong verb form
motivate
to
the population to live healthy lifestyles, Change preposition
apply
where as
others say that there are other superior methods to Correct your spelling
whereas
endrose
Correct your spelling
encourage
adults
Use synonyms
for doing
Verb problem
to
exercise
. Use synonyms
This
essay discusses both viewpoints and I strongly agree with the latter opinion for the following reasons.
On the one hand, watching Olympic and Linking Words
Use synonyms
world
Capitalize word
World
Cup
matches can motivate Use synonyms
to
the younger Change preposition
apply
generation
to become fit because these Use synonyms
game's
Change noun form
games
Players
are Use synonyms
being
very fit Unnecessary verb
apply
according to
their sports. National Linking Words
Players
should Use synonyms
be maintained
their health and body Wrong verb form
maintain
in
very long Periods Change preposition
for
while
they do Linking Words
lot
of physical Add an article
a lot
exerases
. Correct your spelling
exercises
exercise
For example
, take Linking Words
FIFA
Correct article usage
the FIFA
World
Use synonyms
Cup
, all Use synonyms
countries
Change noun form
country's
countries'
players
Use synonyms
are
must be very fit in order to they can run, and jump; Unnecessary verb
apply
Youngsters
should watch these kinds of games and get more Use synonyms
motivations
from Fix the agreement mistake
motivation
it
. Correct pronoun usage
them
Hence
, Linking Words
adults
will be healthy after watching Olympic and Use synonyms
Use synonyms
world
Correct your spelling
World Cup
cup
matches.
Use synonyms
Conversely
, there are other ways to encourage the younger Linking Words
generation
to be healthy. Creating Use synonyms
awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
towards
of physical Change preposition
apply
exercise
's benefits to Use synonyms
adults
, and Conducting Use synonyms
Competitions
of Fix the agreement mistake
Competition
body builders
", Correct your spelling
bodybuilders
Linking Words
this
can help to they start to do physical Correct pronoun usage
apply
exercise
. Use synonyms
For instance
, the local authorities should conduct these Linking Words
programs
Use synonyms
in
every week throughout the nations, and Change preposition
apply
as a result
, Linking Words
in
Change preposition
apply
youngsters
will maintain their By body in Use synonyms
healthy
way regularly. Needless to say, creating Change the article
a healthy
awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
Programs
Use synonyms
give
better solutions to Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
youngsters
.
In conclusion, watching Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the dympics
dympics
and Correct your spelling
Olympics
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the world
world
Correct your spelling
World Cup
cup
leads to Use synonyms
encourage
Change the verb form
encouraging
adults
to become healthy because all the Use synonyms
players
are Use synonyms
being
healthy and very fit, Verb problem
apply
although
, creating Linking Words
awamess
Correct your spelling
awareness
programs
Use synonyms
to
the younger Change preposition
for
generation
brings more Use synonyms
endrasement
to them to be healthy. Correct your spelling
encouragement
However
, in my opinion, Linking Words
awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
programs
Use synonyms
of
being healthy can bring numerous Potential Change preposition
for
motivation
to the younger Fix the agreement mistake
motivations
generation
to be healthy.Use synonyms
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task achievement
To enhance the **Task Response**, you need to ensure your essay fully and clearly addresses all parts of the question. While you did discuss both viewpoints, providing more detailed arguments for each side would strengthen your response. Additionally, consider providing a few more specific examples to support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
For **Coherence and Cohesion**, work on improving the logical flow of your ideas. While your essay has a clear structure with an introduction and conclusion, the transitions between points and paragraphs could be smoother. Using more cohesive devices, such as linking words and phrases, will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
coherence cohesion
To improve the **logical structure**, it's important to ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the ideas in the paragraph are well-organized. Avoid overly long sentences that can confuse the reader and instead break them into smaller, more digestible parts.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains an introduction and a conclusion, which gives it a complete and rounded structure.
task achievement
You include viewpoints from both sides of the argument, which shows a good understanding of the task requirements.