people can be encouraged to live healthy through sporting events such as 0lympics or World Cup. Others think that there are more better ways to encourage adults for exercise. Discuss both views and state you opinion.
These days,
youngsters
indeed are lazy
to do. physical Rephrase
too lazy
exercise
. A certain
individuals are concerned that Correct the article-noun agreement
Certain
Correct article usage
the olympic
olympic
games and Change the capitalization
Olympic
Correct article usage
the world
world
Correct your spelling
World Cup
cup
can be motivated
Wrong verb form
motivate
to
the population to live healthy lifestyles, Change preposition
apply
where as
others say that there are other superior methods to Correct your spelling
whereas
endrose
Correct your spelling
encourage
adults
for doing
Verb problem
to
exercise
. This
essay discusses both viewpoints and I strongly agree with the latter opinion for the following reasons.
On the one hand, watching Olympic and world
Capitalize word
World
Cup
matches can motivate to
the younger Change preposition
apply
generation
to become fit because these game's
Change noun form
games
Players
are being
very fit Unnecessary verb
apply
according to
their sports. National Players
should be maintained
their health and body Wrong verb form
maintain
in
very long Periods Change preposition
for
while
they do lot
of physical Add an article
a lot
exerases
. Correct your spelling
exercises
exercise
For example
, take FIFA
Correct article usage
the FIFA
World
Cup
, all countries
Change noun form
country's
countries'
players
are
must be very fit in order to they can run, and jump; Unnecessary verb
apply
Youngsters
should watch these kinds of games and get more motivations
from Fix the agreement mistake
motivation
it
. Correct pronoun usage
them
Hence
, adults
will be healthy after watching Olympic and world
Correct your spelling
World Cup
cup
matches.
Conversely
, there are other ways to encourage the younger generation
to be healthy. Creating awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
towards
of physical Change preposition
apply
exercise
's benefits to adults
, and Conducting Competitions
of Fix the agreement mistake
Competition
body builders
", Correct your spelling
bodybuilders
this
can help to they start to do physical Correct pronoun usage
apply
exercise
. For instance
, the local authorities should conduct these programs
in
every week throughout the nations, and Change preposition
apply
as a result
, in
Change preposition
apply
youngsters
will maintain their By body in healthy
way regularly. Needless to say, creating Change the article
a healthy
awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
Programs
give
better solutions to Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
youngsters
.
In conclusion, watching Correct article usage
the dympics
dympics
and Correct your spelling
Olympics
Correct article usage
the world
world
Correct your spelling
World Cup
cup
leads to encourage
Change the verb form
encouraging
adults
to become healthy because all the players
are being
healthy and very fit, Verb problem
apply
although
, creating awamess
Correct your spelling
awareness
programs
to
the younger Change preposition
for
generation
brings more endrasement
to them to be healthy. Correct your spelling
encouragement
However
, in my opinion, awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
programs
of
being healthy can bring numerous Potential Change preposition
for
motivation
to the younger Fix the agreement mistake
motivations
generation
to be healthy.Submitted by reanudeepan on
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task achievement
To enhance the **Task Response**, you need to ensure your essay fully and clearly addresses all parts of the question. While you did discuss both viewpoints, providing more detailed arguments for each side would strengthen your response. Additionally, consider providing a few more specific examples to support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
For **Coherence and Cohesion**, work on improving the logical flow of your ideas. While your essay has a clear structure with an introduction and conclusion, the transitions between points and paragraphs could be smoother. Using more cohesive devices, such as linking words and phrases, will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
coherence cohesion
To improve the **logical structure**, it's important to ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the ideas in the paragraph are well-organized. Avoid overly long sentences that can confuse the reader and instead break them into smaller, more digestible parts.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains an introduction and a conclusion, which gives it a complete and rounded structure.
task achievement
You include viewpoints from both sides of the argument, which shows a good understanding of the task requirements.