IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays some people post offensive or uncomfortable things on social media. Do you think social companies should do somethings to prevent this? what do you think people should not be allowed to post on social media?

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In the modern era, social
media
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 has become a common part of
people
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's daily lives, and they use it to show their emotions and
llifestyle
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
 to others.
However
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, some individuals use it to post violent
content
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. In my opinion, the government should restrict these users and ban inappropriate ideas from social
media
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. To commence with, social companies must take action to prevent bad consequences.
This
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 means that uncomfortable
content
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 can influence children and the elderly. If underage children are influenced by
this
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, it could lead them to do illegal acts.
For example
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, a
school girl
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schoolgirl
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 from India committed suicide because she watched
content
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 about the suicide rate
in
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among
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 students.
Thus
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,
such
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content
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 may lead to big problems for children who use social
media
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 daily.
In addition
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, there is a variety of
content
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 that must not be allowed to be posted. Some common things like discrimination, violence, and sexual harassment may lead to big problems and influence
people
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's ways of thinking.
Moreover
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, some
people
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 may get addicted to uncomfortable
content
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, which can make them mentally depressed. So, things that are opposite to society's norms must not be posted. These companies should have employees to monitor
such
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content
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 so it will not affect the
life
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lives
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 of common
people
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.
To conclude
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, social
media
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 is a powerful tool that can be used for good
as well as
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 bad. Social
media
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 companies should take measures to prevent users from posting offensive
content
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. At the same time, users should
also
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 be responsible
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while
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for
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 posting anything that can hurt others.

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task achievement
Your main points are meaningful and relevant to the topic. However, you could provide more specific and diverse examples for a stronger argument.
task achievement
Try using varied vocabulary and more complex sentence structures to better explain your ideas.
coherence cohesion
While your essay follows a logical flow, some transitions feel abrupt. Aim for smoother transitions between points.
coherence cohesion
Employ more specific details and evidence to better support your main points. This will add depth to your arguments and enhance credibility.
task achievement
Your introduction effectively frames the problem and states your position clearly.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion does a good job summarizing your points and reinforcing your main argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a generally logical structure, with distinct paragraphs for different points.
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