Some parents buy their childern a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys.
There are some parents that
expended
a lot of money Verb problem
spend
in
their Change preposition
on
children
Change noun form
children's
lesiure
, giving Correct your spelling
leisure
to
their offspring many Change preposition
apply
toys
to play.
There are benefits Change preposition
with.
such
as,
brain development and personal growth, especially for young ages. Remove the comma
apply
However
, their
is a downside. Organization and Replace the word
there
tidyness
of spaces with all the Correct your spelling
tidiness
toys
and also
excess of toys
can transformed
negatively the Change the verb form
transform
children
personalities.
On one hand, it is Change noun form
children's
neccesary
to Correct your spelling
necessary
promoted
and Wrong verb form
promote
created
spaces where Wrong verb form
create
children
can play. This
will created
better developed adults. There are many Change the verb form
create
toys
that are designed for stimulated
Change preposition
to stimulate
children
brains. For Change noun form
children's
babys
and Correct your spelling
babies
toodlers
are Correct your spelling
toddlers
didatic
plays that Correct your spelling
didactic
generated
some responses from Wrong verb form
generate
certains
Correct your spelling
certain
part
of the brain. Fix the agreement mistake
parts
Additionally
, for children
and teenagers playing with their peers generated bonds. Playing time teached
Correct your spelling
taught
children
certain values such
as generosity, team work
, Correct your spelling
teamwork
emphaty
and social skills that will be Correct your spelling
empathy
neccesary
as an adult.
Correct your spelling
necessary
On the other hand
, there are some drawbacks. Organize
many Wrong verb form
Organizing
toys
is not easy, especially for the youngest ones. So it is an
extra work for the parents to keep the Remove the article
apply
toys
organized. However
, this
is also
a task that children
must to
learn. Change the verb form
apply
Organize
their Wrong verb form
Organizing
toys
will give them a sense of responsability
. Correct your spelling
responsibility
However
, this
is not the only setback. The excess of toys
can affected
negatively Change the verb form
affect
children
personalities. Change noun form
children's
Ungreatful
and Correct your spelling
Ungrateful
gready
people can be the outcome of Correct your spelling
greedy
this
excess. It is important as
a parent to be aware of how many Correct word choice
for
toys
really need a kid.
To conclude
, I believe that playing for children
it
is paramount. Correct pronoun usage
apply
Toys
can be handy for teached
and Correct your spelling
teaching
improved
the brain Wrong verb form
improving
developed
of the youngest ones. Replace the word
development
However
, everything in
the right amount, Add a missing verb
is in
their
is nothing positive about excess or scarcity in any field of life.Replace the word
there
Submitted by estefaniamn2014 on
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Grammar and Spelling
Review your essay for grammar and vocabulary mistakes. Pay attention to spelling errors like 'lesiure' (leisure), 'neccesary' (necessary), 'promoted' (promote), etc. Correcting these can improve readability and professionalism of your writing.
Paragraph Structure
Make sure each paragraph clearly contributes to your central argument or discussion. Organize ideas logically to avoid any confusion for the reader.
Supporting Examples
Provide specific examples to support your points. While you mentioned the benefits and drawbacks, providing concrete examples can strengthen your argument and make the essay more compelling.
Effective Conclusion
Your conclusion wraps up the essay well but could be made stronger by summarizing the main points you’ve mentioned in your body paragraphs briefly before giving your final statement.
Essay Organization
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Balanced Argument
You have addressed both advantages and disadvantages of the topic, showing your ability to understand multiple perspectives.
Vocabulary Usage
You have some good vocabulary related to the topic, such as 'brain development', 'personal growth', 'didatic', 'generosity', 'responsability' etc.