oday, anybody can use a mobile phone to answer the work and personal calls at any time or 7 days a week. Does this development have more positive or negative effects on both individuals and society?
Because of the significant development of technology, electrical devices have played a vital role and have a huge impact on
humans’
Fix the agreement mistake
human’
life
. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Therefore
, in today's world, people can work
and receive personal calls through a smartphone. In this
essay, I will discuss both advantages and disadvantages,
and Remove the comma
apply
also
present my perspective.
On the one hand, a primary reason to answer work
and calls through mobile phones is the increase of
Change preposition
in
work
productivity. As a result
, people can access work
emails, documents
, and collaborate remotely. One Correct word choice
and documents
of
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apply
the
excellent Correct article usage
apply
examples
is some applications Fix the agreement mistake
example
such
as Gmail and Google Chat allow workers to give tasks and communicate with each other more efficiently. Furthermore
, for businesses, this
kind of device can assist to increase
Change preposition
in increasing
the
profits by enhancing the quality of their customer services which Correct article usage
apply
also
means that the employment
can support their customers Replace the word
employees
round
the clock.
Correct your spelling
around
On the other hand
, receiving work
calls through smart phones
can be one of the biggest distractors. People can be easily disturbed by Correct your spelling
smartphones
work
messages which come up directly on their devices’ screen
. Fix the agreement mistake
screens
Consequently
, workers can never truly enjoy their time for entertainment and relaxation. For instance
, a study revealed that 70% of workers experience burnout due to
their inability to disconnect from work
. In addition
, working on phones can throw employers off their work
-life balance which can lead to the suffer
from stress and Wrong verb form
suffering
the
decline Correct article usage
a
of
mental health. To illustrate, a survey showed that 35% of employees say their smartphone usage negatively impacts their Change preposition
in
work
-life balance. This
suggests that constant work
availability through smartphones leads to feelings of being on the clock even outside of working hours.
In conclusion, while
the benefits of smartphones in answering the
Correct article usage
apply
work
and personal calls are the increase of
productivity and accessibility to emergency situations, the drawbacks Change preposition
in
of
Change preposition
apply
it
are the unbalance of Correct pronoun usage
apply
work
and life. From my point of view, I believe that this
innovation is a positive development; however
, the
individuals should have their own solutions to use it most efficiently.Correct article usage
apply
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task achievement
Your essay is well-structured, but including a more precise thesis statement in the introduction could enhance clarity.
task achievement
Ensure that your main points are consistently supported with examples or statistics to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay logically progresses from one point to another, but the transitions between paragraphs could be smoother by using linking words or phrases.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt effectively, discussing both the positive and negative effects of the development.
task achievement
Good use of specific examples and statistics to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is clear, with distinct paragraphs for different points.
coherence cohesion
Both your introduction and conclusion are present and sufficiently summarize your main points.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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