Some people say that parents have the most important role in a child's development. However, others argue that other things like television or friends have the most siginificant influence. Discuss both views and opine

#people #parents #role #child #development #television #friends #siginificant #influence #opine

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Watching

televison

Correct your spelling

television

or roaming on the

ınternet

Change the capitalization

Internet

show examples

are quite harmful for

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

children's

however

, The most

benefical

Correct your spelling

beneficial

influential

Correct word choice

and influential

show examples

subject is certainly family and

this

essay is going to explain

that

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

prominence of family . On the one hand, today many

parents

want to be more

cautios

Correct your spelling

cautious

towards their

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

show examples

because the

children

can be

easliy

Correct your spelling

easily

distracted in terms of education

therefore

parents

must play a

crictical

Correct your spelling

crucial

role in

kiddo's

Correct pronoun usage

their kiddo's

show examples

life.

Besides

, during the

childhood's

Change noun form

childhood

show examples

growing

Change preposition

apply

show examples

period family take

Remove the article

apply

show examples

care

their

Change preposition

of their

show examples

homeworks

Correct your spelling

homework

exam's

Change noun form

exam

show examples

outcomes , and

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

relationships.

For example

, in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Europe

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

children

live under limitations

such

turn

Wrong verb form

turning

show examples

back house earlier , in order to they can

focuse

Correct your spelling

focus

personel

Correct your spelling

personal

improving

Replace the word

improvement

show examples

Morover

Correct your spelling

Moreover

one of the most

essantial

Correct your spelling

essential

term for the kiddos that become

an adolescents

Correct the article-noun agreement

adolescents

an adolescent

show examples

thereby

parents

must forestall wrong

choocies

Correct your spelling

choices

chooses

for instance

;

usage

Correct article usage

the usage

show examples

of drugs or

alchaol

Correct your spelling

alcohol

. Ultimately ; the

parents

are precisely the most important factor in a child's development.

On the other hand

friendship

Fix the agreement mistake

friendships

show examples

or leisure time activities like

televison

Correct your spelling

television

are

incredibly

Change the word

incredible

show examples

waste

time

Change preposition

of time

show examples

because they prevent the

children

'development

furthermore

, they can create an

addicted

Replace the word

addiction

show examples

For example

According to

the current

reserach

Correct your spelling

research

; overusing

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the smartphone or television

lead

Correct subject-verb agreement

leads

show examples

to set back

Change preposition

apply

show examples

personel

Correct your spelling

personnel

developing

Replace the word

development

show examples

especially people who are under

age

Add an article

the age

show examples

of 18. İn addition, the students have to study and pass

exam

Fix the agreement mistake

exams

show examples

instead

of watching TV. Because of that these activities have a detrimental impact on the

eduction

Correct your spelling

education

show examples

and these can never help out .

To conclude

, Front my point

Change preposition

apply

show examples

view The best way

for supporting

Change preposition

to support

show examples

children

developing

Replace the word

development

show examples

unambigiously

Correct your spelling

unambiguously

parents

, other aspects can not contribute to them unlike as known.

Submitted by kickbox191 on Tue Jul 16 2024

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coherence cohesion

For a higher score in Coherence and Cohesion, try to use linking words more effectively. This can help to create a more logical flow between your ideas and make your essay easier to follow.

task achievement

To improve your Task Achievement score, ensure that you cover both views in-depth and provide balanced arguments. Try to include more detailed examples and explanations for both sides to create a more comprehensive response.

general advice

Pay closer attention to grammar and spelling to avoid minor errors that can disrupt the reader's understanding. Proofreading your work can help catch these mistakes.

task achievement

The essay provides a clear stance on the topic, which is essential for task achievement.

coherence cohesion

Introduction and conclusion are present, which helps in setting the context and summarizing the arguments effectively.

task achievement

The essay uses some specific examples to support its arguments, such as children in Europe having limitations and the research on smartphone and television overuse.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
48
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

272 words

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Some people say that parents have the most important role in a child's development. However, others argue that other things like television or friends have the most siginificant influence. Discuss both views and opine

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many countries nowadays, people in big cities prefer to live alone or in small family units rather than larger, extended family groups. Is it a positive or negative trend?

The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what are the possible solutions?

Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that in today ‘s world subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Give me band prediction and feedback for this IELTS Writing Task 2. Please analyse based on the IELTS public band descriptions and also the substance.