You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: ‘It is important for foreigners to know something about the history and culture of the country they live in.’ Discuss. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

History
and
culture
created by our ancestors should be followed and maintained. In foreign countries, it is important to have a knowledge of their
history
and
culture
. In
this
essay, I will give my reasons and relevant examples of my knowledge about foreigners, and why they need to learn about their
history
and
culture
.
Firstly
, one country's
history
and
culture
should be maintained and secured for their own development and increasing their economy by tourists. It is important to know something about
history
and
culture
by learning it from our ancestors. Youngsters can take the initiative to learn
about
Correct pronoun usage
about it
show examples
.
For instance
, people will get motivated by creating clubs to share their
history
and
culture
will
also
motivate them to learn about that.
Secondly
, if we are able to implement subjects related to the country's
history
and
culture
, children can learn that at a very small age which will help them in future and by doing
this
, they will get more interest in learning their
history
and
culture
.
For instance
, if the government includes a separate subject called
history
and
culture
at a schooling level, it will motivate an individual to learn more about that. In conclusion, I think it is very important for
foreigner
Fix the agreement mistake
foreigners
show examples
to know something about the
history
and
culture
of the country where they live
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. In my
prespective
Correct your spelling
perspective
, I feel that every foreign individual should learn about their own
history
and
culture
.
Submitted by insighttribez on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Clarify the essay's main argument and provide more comprehensive and clear ideas. In the current version, the points about the need for foreigners to know the history and culture of the country they reside in are not clearly developed.
task achievement
Provide specific examples related to foreigners learning about the history and culture of the host country. The examples in the essay are more general and do not directly address the topic's requirements.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next by improving the logical flow of ideas. Some ideas in the essay feel disconnected.
coherence cohesion
Further develop the supporting points and provide a logical structure to make sure the essay flows naturally from one point to the next.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which adequately present the main idea and summarize the argument.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure of the essay is clear, with each paragraph addressing distinct sections of the topic.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: