IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The table below presents the number of children ever born to women aged 40-44 years in Australia for each year the information was collected since 1981.

The table below presents the number of children ever born to women aged 40-44 years in Australia for each year the information was collected since 1981.
#children #women #years #australia #year #information
The given table shows the number of
children
 ever born to women aged 40 to 44 years old in Australia . The information was gathered
since
Change preposition
in
show examples
 1981 .
Overall
 , 2006 had the highest number of
none
Correct quantifier usage
no
show examples
children
 born among the past years . Starting with 1981, a variety of high and low percentages of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
born
Add a missing verb
were born
show examples
 .
In
Change preposition
For
show examples
 instance, the percentage of one child was 7.6 , and the percentage of two
children
 born was 29.0 .
Furthermore
 , in 1986 and 1981 there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
close similarity percentages in the three
children
 born , which is that in 1981 the number
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 was 27.4 ,
while
 in 1986 it was lower
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
by only 0.4 %.
Moreover
 , 1996 and 2006 had near percentages in most of the table numbers of
children
 .
However
, 2006 had the higher average of
children
 born in the majority of the numbers of
children
 born .
Submitted by fiesaidi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words children with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 5 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fertility rate
  • demographic shift
  • age cohort
  • workforce implications
  • government policy
  • birth rate fluctuations
  • education level
  • career advancement
  • reproductive health
  • family planning
  • socio-economic factors
  • population pyramid
  • life expectancy
  • childbearing age
  • maternity leave
  • contraceptive methods
  • population growth rate
  • average family size
  • maternal health
  • census data
What to do next:
Look at other essays: