Some companies sponsor sportsports as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good for the world of sports, while others think there are disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people would argue that it is an effective
way
for many
companies
to advertise themselves by sponsoring
sports
clubs,
while
others say
this
method has drawbacks.
while
it is a fast
way
to reach their fans, I believe that
this
type of advertisement has a huge problem because some institutes are not qualified enough. On the one hand, using sport clubs to advertise for different
companies
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is increasing their sales.
this
way
is
using
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
by many institutes to print their logo on players' T-shirts
,
Remove the comma
apply
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and make players take photos for their products, so they will earn more money.
For example
, I used to attend
a football matches
Correct the article-noun agreement
football matches
a football match
show examples
and I saw a lot of advertisements about a famous clinic
then
I visited it.
However
, I believe
this
advertisement method can be not good for people , like when
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
visited the clinic it was not good enough.
On the other hand
, the main disadvantage of using
sports
activities to advertise some
companies
is they sometimes have low qualifications, because
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
are focusing on their purpose to earn money rather than their quality.
This
means
sports
teams have to go to the clinic which is sponsoring them but they do not treat them very well, because they are not professional enough. I totally agree with
this
statement because work quality is important, especially for athletes. In conclusion,
although
investing in
sports
is the easy
way
to advertise their
companies
,
this
is ultra-challenging for their work quality. It is recommended that
sports
teams should try any sponsored before, so they can ensure they are good at their work.
Submitted by saja.alotaibi on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure, but some sentences and ideas could be connected more smoothly to enhance overall coherence and cohesion. This will help the reader follow your arguments more easily.
task achievement
Try to ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea which is well-supported by specific examples. This will help you achieve a more fully developed and persuasive argument.
grammar vocabulary
Work on using more varied and complex sentence structures, as well as improving grammatical accuracy. Minor errors do not critically impact comprehension, but they can affect overall fluency.
task achievement
You have made a commendable attempt at discussing both views on the topic, with a clear opinion stated in the introduction and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The essay follows a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs and a conclusion, which is a good basis for coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
You have used some relevant examples to support your points, which adds value to your arguments.
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