Some people argue that the government should spend money only on medical care and education but not on theaters or sports stadiums. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Education
Plays a Pivotal Role in Shaping Both Individuals and Society Some people believe that the
government
should cover all financial costs of children’s schooling, and they argue that its merits outweigh the demerits. I completely agree with
this
perspective, and my inclination is justified in the following paragraphs. First of all, there are numerous benefits when the
government
takes responsibility for children’s
education
, but the most significant one is the reduction of poverty in the nation.
In other words
, educated individuals are more likely to secure employment, which helps alleviate poverty and improves their quality of life.
For example
, nations with high literacy rates often experience better development and economic growth.
Moreover
, educated people are empowered to make informed decisions regarding their health and family planning, which contributes to the
overall
well-being of the country. For these reasons, many believe that the
government
should take full responsibility for children’s school
education
.
On the other hand
, there are some disadvantages to
this
approach. If the
government
bears all the costs, some families and children may not take
education
seriously.
Additionally
, it places a significant burden on the
government
’s budget.
For instance
, building school infrastructure, providing textbooks, and paying teachers require a substantial amount of funding. Many developing countries struggle to allocate
such
amounts, which often results in overcrowded classrooms and poor-quality
education
.
Furthermore
, excessive spending on
education
might divert attention and resources from other essential sectors like healthcare and national infrastructure development, ultimately hindering the country’s growth.
However
, these challenges can be mitigated with proper planning and monitoring. In conclusion,
while
there are some disadvantages,
such
as students being less serious about their studies and the financial burden on the
government
, the advantages,
such
as poverty reduction and improved national economic growth, far outweigh the drawbacks. With adequate planning, the
government
can ensure that
education
benefits both individuals and society.
Submitted by Surbhi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that your argument aligns with the given topic. Your essay is about government funding for education, while the topic asks about prioritizing medical care and education over theaters and sports stadiums.
task response
Include more specific examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Try to address both sides of the argument more explicitly.
introduction conclusion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion.
logical structure
You have a logical flow of ideas that presents your argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your paragraphs are well connected, improving the readability of the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: