In recent years many local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers to do their shopping. Is it a positive or negative development?
These days, people prefer to purchase products in small
shops
rather than big markets
, and it
can lead to shutting down local Correct pronoun usage
this
stores
. I believe that we should try to protect local markets
from being exposed to big market threats due to
various reasons. This
essay will discuss why keeping local businesses are important factor in our societies.
On the one hand, some people are likely to buy everyday products and foods in large stores
instead
of buying in small ones. The first reason why people prefer to go big
Change preposition
to big
market
is that large Fix the agreement mistake
markets
shops
offer trustworthy items and fresh foods, as this
products are from dependable big corporations. Correct determiner usage
these
Moreover
, customers are given the opportunity to choose from various options in the big markets
, allowing them to save their shopping budget. This
is because they may compare multiple items before making a decision to buy them.
On the other hand
, I believe that local businesses play a crucial role in local communities. Demolishing the local shops
can exert an extremely negative influence on our local people’s living, as they lose their employment. Furthermore
, If numerous local stores
shut down, a lot of inhabitants who live in small areas decide to move their houses to urban areas. As a result
, this
phenomenon affect to
considerably Verb problem
apply
accelerate
urbanization. Correct subject-verb agreement
accelerates
For instance
, those who live in a
rural areas hard to find a market demolishing plentiful local Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
stores
, resulting in their want to live in the city where easy access to the big markets
.
In conclusion, big markets
have greatly changed our way of shopping ever since they were introduced. Although
there are some advantages to shopping in large markets
, we should keep small businesses, as local shops
allow us to keep local relationships and neighbourhoods.Submitted by dksrlgus1017 on
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task response
Revise the introduction to more clearly state the central argument that you will be making in the essay. This can enhance the focus and clarity of your overall response.
task response
Improve the explanation of your main points in the body paragraphs by including more specific examples and details to support your arguments. This will make your ideas more compelling and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Work on the transitions between sentences and paragraphs to ensure a smoother flow of ideas. Use linking words and phrases to connect your points more effectively.
general
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which help to frame the discussion effectively.
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a balanced approach to the topic.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...
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