IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think the most important skill nurses should have is good medical knowledge. Others believe there are other more important qualities. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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There is no denying the fact that
nurses
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 could be the skeletal bone of every hospital.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that some people believe that the most crucial
skills
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nurses
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 should have sufficient medical
knowledge
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, there is
also
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 an argument that opposes it,
nurses
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 must have more vital qualities.
This
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 essay will discuss both points of view and express my opinion. On one hand,
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nurse
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the nurse
a nurse
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 is the most significant thing in every hospital, which could assist and serve doctors in a specialized way.
In other words
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,
nurses
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 must acquire various qualifications
such
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 as
,
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apply
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 diligence and commitment.
In addition
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, every efficient
nurse
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 should
advice
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advise
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 patients
for promoting
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to promote
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 them
keeping
Verb problem
to be
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 healthier and safer. On
other
Correct article usage
the other
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 hand,
nurses
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 major
skills
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 are more valuable than medical
knowledge
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. It is
also
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 possible to say that
nurse
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skills
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 should
incure
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ensure
incur
 a high
knowledge
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 of personal growth and health , which involves continuous self-improvement and self-discovery.
Moreover
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, every
nurse
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 must encourage patients
for promoting
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to promote
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 healthy lifestyles, which
involves
Correct subject-verb agreement
involve
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 balanced diets, regular physical activities, and mental well-being.
For instance
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,it is essential for reducing the prevalence of chronic diseases and improving
overall
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 public health.
Furthermore
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, these steps need professional
nurses
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 with high
skills
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 and
efforts
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effort
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; not only their
knowledge
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 and certificate. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
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 question. On balance,
however
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, I tend to say that
nurses
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fosters
Correct subject-verb agreement
foster
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of
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apply
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continuous personal growth,
also
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can
Verb problem
apply
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inspire a developed and advanced if they work
in
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with
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 high proficiency,
and
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apply
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making it more convenient for patients and doctors.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea. Some paragraphs mix ideas about the importance of both medical knowledge and other skills, which might confuse readers. Separating these ideas will make your argument clearer.
task achievement
Expand on examples and make them more specific and relevant. Providing specific examples, such as scenarios or studies, can increase the impact of your arguments.
task achievement
Avoid repetition and use varied vocabulary to make your writing more engaging. This will also improve the overall fluency and readability of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structure and grammar to enhance clarity. For instance, 'nurse is the most significant thing in every hospital' can be improved to 'nurses play a significant role in every hospital.'
coherence cohesion
The introduction is clear and sets up the discussion effectively, outlining both views and signaling your own opinion.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the key points and restates your opinion, providing a balanced closure to the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Medical knowledge
  • Diagnosing
  • Treating patients
  • Patient safety
  • Care quality
  • Informed decisions
  • Emergency situations
  • Time is of the essence
  • Communicate effectively
  • Healthcare professionals
  • Interpersonal skills
  • Empathy
  • Patient experience
  • Supportive environment
  • Healing environment
  • Emotional intelligence
  • Manage stress
  • Well-being
  • High-quality care
  • Organizational abilities
  • Multi-tasking
  • Responsibilities
  • Smooth operation
  • Healthcare services
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