Both men and woman care more about their appearance today than they did in the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#men #woman #care #appearance

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Although

Linking Words

,Beauty has the ability to attract

people

Use synonyms

. Recently,both genders

Verb problem

have

show examples

are take

Change the verb form

are taking

are taken

show examples

care more about their structure and glamour than in the past.I partially agree with

this

Linking Words

statement.

This

Linking Words

essay will articulate the predominant reasons for partial agreement in forthcoming paragraphs. To commence with, nowadays,

people

Use synonyms

are suffering various problems like body shaming .

This

Linking Words

will put

people

Use synonyms

in a depression.Currently,folks are more conscious about their loveliness,

therefore

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

are going to the beauty parlour and Jim.In the beauty parlour, they are doing chemical treatments ,

such

Linking Words

facial

Fix the agreement mistake

facials

show examples

, bleaching,hair straightening and smoothening.

This

Linking Words

will irritate their

skin

Use synonyms

and hair, because of

individuals

Change noun form

individuals'

individual's

show examples

situation,

they

Change preposition

in they

show examples

are doing

these kind

Change the determiner

this kind

these kinds

show examples

of activities.

Moreover

Linking Words

, Myriad humans are using

skin

Use synonyms

whitening cream to become fair .But these creams never provide

white

Correct article usage

a white

show examples

colour for the

skin

Use synonyms

.Which causes

skin

Use synonyms

cancer and kidney

diseases

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

,a news channel reported that,

people

Use synonyms

who

are used

Change the verb form

have used

show examples

face creams

diagnosed

Add a missing verb

are diagnosed

show examples

with chronic kidney

diseases

Use synonyms

Secondly

Linking Words

, jimnesias have

the

Correct article usage

show examples

significant role in maintaining the body.That will help the community to mitigate

over weight

Correct your spelling

overweight

show examples

.There is no other negative impact on going to the fitness centre.It will give a good body shape.

This

Linking Words

has a pivotal role in preventing heart

Use synonyms

diseases

Fix the agreement mistake

disease

show examples

. To epitome: A survey states that 90% of

people

Use synonyms

going

Wrong verb form

show examples

to fitness

centre

Fix the agreement mistake

centres

show examples

to become healthier.

To conclude

Linking Words

,today

people

Use synonyms

are facing a lot of

harrasment

Correct your spelling

harassment

from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society,

this

Linking Words

makes mankind

to become

Verb problem

apply

show examples

beautiful.By using face creams,they are calling

diseases

Use synonyms

themselves.Fitness centres can boost their stamina.Through

this

Linking Words

humankinds

Correct your spelling

humankind

can avoid health issues.All

people

Use synonyms

are doing

Wrong verb form

show examples

not care

Change preposition

about

show examples

their appearance.So I partially agree with

this

Linking Words

situation

Submitted by saniyasunny1848 on Tue Jul 16 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, try using more varied and sophisticated linking words. This will help the essay flow more naturally.

task achievement

To achieve a higher score in task response, ensure you are directly addressing the question throughout your essay and maintain a clear position. Additionally, ensure every main point is directly relevant to the question.

task achievement

Use more complex sentence structures and a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your responses and show a higher level of proficiency.

task achievement

When using examples, make sure they are specific and relevant to strengthen your arguments and make them more compelling.

coherence cohesion

The essay contains an introduction and conclusion, which provides a clear structure.

task achievement

Relevant examples were provided to support some of the points, such as mentioning the news channel report and the survey about fitness centers.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

social media platforms
beauty and personal care industry
societal norms
health and fitness
celebrity culture
technology advancements
cosmetic surgery
dermatology treatments
mental health awareness
self-esteem

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Both men and woman care more about their appearance today than they did in the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people say that seeing an ancient objects in a museum can give the public a unique awareness of history. Others say that modern media such as internet provide more effective way for the public to learn about history.

Due to the increasing world demands for oil and gas energy, people need to look for new resources of energy in remote and untouched natural places. Do the advantages of locating these sources outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where the did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that the government should not support arts and other activities. However, others believe that the arts and other activities should be funded. Discuss both views and give your opinion.