IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people say that only reason for learning foriegn language Is in order to traveL to or work in foriegn country. Other say these are not the only reasons. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #reason #foriegn #language #travel #work #country
In recent years, some
people
 have been discussing whether individuals have a reason to study a foreign
language
 in order to travel or work in a foreign
country
 or not, with
people
 believing that they do not have only
reasons
. In
this
 essay, I will debate and explain my opinion about
this
 topic. On the one hand, there are beneficial things in careers and trips for two
reasons
.
Firstly
, learning a foreign
language
 provides the chance to experience several things,
such
 as another culture, and making new friends.
As a result
, they can connect easily to foreigners.
Secondly
, speaking multilingual helps many
people
 who look for jobs, which makes it easy to get jobs
due to
this
 reason.
Furthermore
, if the situation of their own
country
's job market is not good,
this
 option helps them to work in a foreign
country
.
For instance
,
according to
 a recent survey, employees who speak bilingual have a variety of opportunities to get jobs since most companies prefer employees who speak foreign languages.
On the other hand
, many
people
 who learning a foreign
language
 might have families who speak a foreign
language
, which makes them learn more than bilingual because they realise how much communication is important by their families.
As a result
, they learn new foreign languages and understand foreign cultures that are different from their own
country
.
For example
, research has shown that
this
 reason accounts for 40 per cent of all
reasons
 for learning a foreign
language
. In my opinion,
while
 it is undeniable that speaking a foreign
language
 is one of the
reasons
 for travelling and working in a foreign
country
, I firmly believe that there are not only these
reasons
.
Submitted by garim4645 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Try to structure your essay more clearly by dividing it into distinct paragraphs for each main point. This will improve the logical flow of your argument.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your arguments and make them more relatable.
task achievement
Work on expanding your ideas further to provide a more comprehensive response to the question. This will help in addressing the task more fully.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction is well-crafted and sets up the essay clearly.
supported main points
You have presented arguments for both sides of the discussion effectively, showing a balanced approach.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion summarizes your opinion succinctly, which is a good practice.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!