P. Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some individuals insist that
boys
and girls
should be educated in separate schools
, while
others insist that they can gain more in mixed schools
rather than in separate schools
. The former is mainly because fewer safety issues and fewer distractions among students
are expected in separate schools
, and the latter is because the cultivation of sociability to respect each other’s sex is expected in mixed schools
On the one hand, mixed schools
are beneficial for students
of both sexes
, especially in deepening their understanding of each other through direct communication in their daily school
lives, and such
communication skills can be available in future workplaces and in searching for their future partners. They can even experience close relationships within schools
. For example
, students
from mixed schools
are less shy than the other sexes
and they can create equal communication with each other when they enter universities. However
, this
merit is only limited to a few students
who are extremely shy and make little difference in the long run.
On the other hand
, separate schools
have benefits in various ways; they have fewer distractions, fewer
safety issues aroused by relationship disputes compared to mixed Correct word choice
and fewer
schools
. In the juvenile period, when boys
and girls
develop their physical and mental maturity, it is common for them to start to date. It is once they break up, that one must stand in agony to keep one’s school
life in the same school
and sometimes they lose their friends of the same sex, whereas
in separate schools
, such
problems seldom happen because they do not create love affairs within their own schools
in most cases. For instance
, recent studies reveal that boys
and girls
in separate schools
, in fact, have more experience in dating with other sex students
and encounter fewer problems such
as stoking
, and bullying in Correct your spelling
smoking
schools
, and this
has led to the fact that they can be more concentrated on what they want to do compared to those in mixed schools
. Therefore
, I insist that boys
and girls
have much more benefits in separate schools
than in mixed schools
.
In conclusion, while
some people argue that students
benefit more in mixed schools
when they think of sociability, sacrifice
of exposure to other Add an article
the sacrifice
a sacrifice
sexes
within schools
creates distraction and more problems rather than merits in the long run, and students
of both sexes
can more concentrate on their own pursuit and enjoy school
lives in separate schools
.Submitted by kana_ayaki on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses both views and provides your own opinion effectively. However, the examples could be more specific and varied, rather than relying on general statements or a single study.
coherence cohesion
Try to work on seamless transitions between points and paragraphs. This will help to maintain a logical flow and strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea and that all sentences relate directly to that idea. This will make your writing clearer and more cohesive.
task achievement
You have successfully included both views and your own opinion in the essay, fulfilling the task requirements well.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is structured with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, making it easy to follow.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?