Some people believe that we succeed in sports due to our in born talent, others argue that continuous working on one self is a key to success. What do you think

Successful people
those
Add a missing verb
are those
show examples
we admire
to
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for
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their skills some people
seen
Wrong verb form
see
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they are talented on
other
Correct article usage
the other
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hand they think by working hard in
these
Correct determiner usage
this
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essay I will explain
these different opinion
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this different opinion
these different opinions
show examples
.
Firstly
, when we see
new
Correct word choice
apply
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born maybe
you
Correct pronoun usage
we
show examples
observe some traits before
even
Correct pronoun usage
they even
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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talks
Correct subject-verb agreement
talk
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, so we must not neglect
this
aspect.
In addition
, scientists
says
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say
show examples
children acquire some characteristics from their father and mother from genes.
Secondly
, people need
focus
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to focus
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on improving their skills by
practicing
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practising
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and working on
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
to
sharp
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sharpen
show examples
these skill
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this skill
these skills
show examples
.
Finally
, in my opinion, if we have hidden talents we have to figure it out by asking our family and friends
those
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apply
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we meet them
everyday
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every day
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and when we know more about
our self
Correct your spelling
ourselves
show examples
we must
to
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apply
show examples
work more to improve these skills.
Submitted by a.junini7 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay needs a clearer structure to enhance coherence and cohesion. Start with an introduction that restates the topic and outlines the main points. Separate each point into different paragraphs to improve readability.
task achievement
Make sure to consistently support your points with examples. This strengthens your argument and provides evidence for your claims.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic by discussing both inherited talent and hard work. This demonstrates an understanding of the prompt.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • natural abilities
  • inborn talent
  • genetically gifted
  • work ethic
  • consistent practice
  • discipline
  • perseverance
  • dedication
  • physical fitness
  • mental toughness
  • refinement of skills
  • real-life examples
  • athletic performance
  • raw talent
  • training regimen
What to do next:
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