Nowadays, more and more people are moving from the countryside to cities, which are becoming overcrowded. What are the reasons for this movement to cities and what are the effects?
These days,
people
are travelling from suburbs to cities
, which are becoming overpopulated , for many reasons they are moving to might been
city dwellers . Change the verb form
be
However
, I believe that there are plenty of causes which are making people
try to be city dwellers.
Firstly
, one of the biggest reasons of
moving to Change preposition
for
cities
is that many people
looking for job
or they are trying to set up a new business. Add an article
a job
For example
, if you look for a job in cities
there are a lot of opportunities which are impossible in the countryside
. This
means, having chance
in Add an article
a chance
the chance
cities
where it is available. To be a specific example, in cities
, there are many different chances to be employe
.
Another interesting purpose is that many Correct your spelling
employed
people
believe that in cities
there are many odds of being self-employed, therefore
people
try to move to cities
. However
, sometimes the population prefers living in the countryside
because of the cost in cities
.
On the other hand
, living in cities
perhaps causes a lot of environmental issues which is damage to the environment.To illustrate, if the city becomes overpopulated might face traffic congestion or air pollution.
In conclusion, living in cities
instead
of the countryside
can affect environment
. Add an article
the environment
However
, there are many different reasons which are
lead Verb problem
that
people
to move to cities
but we have to try to protect our environment, and also
we should look for job
in Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
cities
or countryside
.Personally, I think that living in Correct article usage
the countryside
cities
have
plenty of advantages and disadvantages, but I prefer living in Correct subject-verb agreement
has
cities
that has
many different opportunities. Change the verb form
have
In addition
, most people
look for their interest.Submitted by yosf1010 on
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language
Ensure clarity in expression by checking for grammar and syntax errors. For instance, 'might been city dwellers' is incorrect and could be corrected to 'might become city dwellers'.
task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to clearly illustrate your points. For example, when discussing job opportunities, mention specific industries or companies.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph develops a single clear idea to enhance coherence. The idea about self-employment could be expanded with more examples and detail, rather than being mixed with other reasons.
task response
The essay addresses the task appropriately, discussing both reasons for moving to cities and its effects.
introduction conclusion
The introduction and conclusion are present and generally align with the essay's main ideas.
coherence
Clear and relevant ideas such as job opportunities and environmental issues are presented.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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