IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays, more and more people are moving from the countryside to cities, which are becoming overcrowded. What are the reasons for this movement to cities and what are the effects?

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These days,
people
Use synonyms
 are travelling from suburbs to
cities
Use synonyms
 , which are becoming overpopulated , for many reasons they are moving to might
been
Change the verb form
be
show examples
 city dwellers .
However
Linking Words
, I believe that there are plenty of causes which are making
people
Use synonyms
 try to be city dwellers.
Firstly
Linking Words
, one of the biggest reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 moving to
cities
Use synonyms
 is that many
people
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 looking for
job
Add an article
a job
show examples
 or they are trying to set up a new business.
For example
Linking Words
, if you look for a job in
cities
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 there are a lot of opportunities which are impossible in the
countryside
Use synonyms
 .
This
Linking Words
 means, having
chance
Add an article
a chance
the chance
show examples
 in
cities
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 where it is available. To be a specific example, in
cities
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, there are many different chances to be
employe
Correct your spelling
employed
show examples
. Another interesting purpose is that many
people
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 believe that in
cities
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 there are many odds of being self-employed,
therefore
Linking Words
people
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 try to move to
cities
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.
However
Linking Words
, sometimes the population prefers living in the
countryside
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 because of the cost in
cities
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, living in
cities
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 perhaps causes a lot of environmental issues which is damage to the environment.To illustrate, if the city becomes overpopulated might face traffic congestion or air pollution. In conclusion, living in
cities
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instead
Linking Words
 of the
countryside
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 can affect
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, there are many different reasons
which are
Verb problem
that
show examples
 lead
people
Use synonyms
 to move to
cities
Use synonyms
 but we have to try to protect our environment, and
also
Linking Words
 we should look for
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 in
cities
Use synonyms
 or
Use synonyms
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
.Personally, I think that living in
cities
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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 plenty of advantages and disadvantages, but I prefer living in
cities
Use synonyms
 that
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 many different opportunities.
In addition
Linking Words
, most
people
Use synonyms
 look for their interest.

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language
Ensure clarity in expression by checking for grammar and syntax errors. For instance, 'might been city dwellers' is incorrect and could be corrected to 'might become city dwellers'.
task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to clearly illustrate your points. For example, when discussing job opportunities, mention specific industries or companies.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph develops a single clear idea to enhance coherence. The idea about self-employment could be expanded with more examples and detail, rather than being mixed with other reasons.
task response
The essay addresses the task appropriately, discussing both reasons for moving to cities and its effects.
introduction conclusion
The introduction and conclusion are present and generally align with the essay's main ideas.
coherence
Clear and relevant ideas such as job opportunities and environmental issues are presented.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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