Some people think that living ịn big cities is bad for people's health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some individuals believe that living in huge cities is harmful for citizens’

health

. In my opinion, I partly agree with

this

view. On the one hand, staying in major metropolis may bring several disadvantages.

First,

there are plenty of gas vehicles, factories which release emissions to the city’s atmosphere. Unfortunately, When residents inhale

this

, it directly affects their lungs.

Therefore

, if residents are regularly exposed to

such

emissions, they will easily get respiratory diseases

such

as: asthma and emphysema.

Additionally

, tons of bills need to be paid, combined with high living costs.

As a consequence

, residents will be understress.

This

can lead to mental

health

issues

such

as: anxiety disorder and depression.

On the other hand

, despite some negative impacts on

health

, living in huge downtown has some

health

advantages.

Firstly

, high quality medical care is available in big capital and modern medical institutions which lead to better treatment for diseases.Plus, because of a huge range of sport facilities, city dwellers are able to train to improve

health

. Another aspect is there are a lot of forms of entertainment

such

as theaters and cinema that allow people to relax after a hard-working time.

As a result

stress will be reduced and dwellers can avoid mental well-being problems. In conclusion, in spite of the negative impacts on

health

of staying in major metropolis. I would argue that there are some benefits of living in these areas

Submitted by midden-02.tore on Wed Jul 17 2024

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task achievement

Develop your points further. For example, explain specifically how modern medical institutions provide better treatment.

coherence cohesion

Smoothly connect ideas within paragraphs. For example, use linking words such as 'furthermore,' 'moreover,' or 'in addition'.

task achievement

Include more specific and detailed examples to support your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that sentences flow smoothly from one to the next. Currently, some sentences and ideas appear somewhat disjointed.

coherence cohesion

You have included an introduction and a conclusion, which frames your essay nicely.

task achievement

Your arguments on both sides of the issue are clear.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

235 words

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Some people think that living ịn big cities is bad for people's health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Multinational companies are becoming increasingly common in developing countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Some people believe that zoos where animals are kept in a man-made environment should no longer exist in the 21st century. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, a small number of people earn extremly high salaries.Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that goverments should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.