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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that history should be taught to children at school. Others however, believe that there are other subjects that are more relevant to children’s lives today. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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In recent times, some think that historical subjects should be taught to students at school. Others argue that they should be educated in other related
skills
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 to serve their daily practices. In my opinion, I personally agree with the viewpoint that
children
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 should learn about other relevant
skills
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instead
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 of
history
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 in their classes. Those feel that
history
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 class should be replaced by the relevance of other subjects.
History
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 contains the facts and conditions of a certain time, where young generations can obtain that knowledge to protect themselves from several risks.
For example
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, the Asian economic crisis in the
last
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 few decades,
also
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 known as the Tom Yung Kung crisis, had a significant impact on Southeast countries. Especially Thailand's economy
,
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had been increasing debts and decreasing national currency, which had a huge negative impact on investors , particularly local banks. Politicians look at the decisions of previous leaders to determine their plan of action.
Hence
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,
history
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 teaches
children
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 the importance of determining the specific conditions and circumstances that led to certain events so that they may make more informed decisions.
However
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, I would argue that
children
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 should learn about other subjects,
such
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 as information
technology
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. When they learn about
technology
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, they can understand how to use a web browser to do their research projects and create PowerPoint for their presentation. These are really useful
skills
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 that students, not only use in their high school classes, but perhaps they will
also
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 be valuable in their university classes. Because in university life, they will use
technology
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 in almost every class.
As a result
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, students have more families to do things fast. In conclusion,
while
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 it is true that
history
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 offers a variety of useful lessons to
children
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. I would argue that all
children
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 should learn about relevant
skills
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,
such
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 as information
technology
Use synonyms
 as it is a valuable source of knowledge.

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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your argument and demonstrate your understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps the reader follow the argument.
task achievement
The main points are generally clear and supported with examples, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
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