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Band 2.5

There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.

#trend #world #couples #children
is that they can struggle to hang with their peers after most of them have children. Most parents prefer to spend more time with other couples that have children as well.
Moreover
, do not have anyone to look after them in their
elderliness
Replace the word
elderly
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 is another disadvantage. Children are the ones who take care of their parents when they get old because their parents did the same for them when they were young.
For instance
, the vast majority of the people who live in care homes have no
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
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. In conclusion, the main benefits of staying child-free for couples are that they can be more career-oriented and have more free time for themselves, and the main drawbacks are that they could have problems
about
Change preposition
apply
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fitting into their friends’ group and having no one to take care of them when they become older.
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coherence cohesion
You should aim to develop a more balanced essay structure. Start with an introduction that clearly states the topic and previews the main points you will discuss. Then, in separate paragraphs, discuss the advantages and disadvantages before concluding. This will make your argument clearer and easier to follow.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay lacks a clear introduction. Adding a brief introduction that outlines the topic and previews the main points will help frame your essay better.
supported main points
Expand on your points with more detailed explanations and supporting examples. This will help strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
task achievement
Be mindful of grammar and punctuation. For instance, 'Moreover, do not have anyone to look after them in their elderliness is another disadvantage' should be 'Moreover, not having anyone to look after them in their elder years is another disadvantage.'
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. For instance, if you talk about career-oriented couples, mention statistical data or anecdotes that show how having no children has helped individuals succeed in their jobs.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the key advantages and disadvantages of not having children. It gives a clear and concise recap of your main points.
task achievement
You have presented a balanced view by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages. This demonstrates an understanding of the complexities involved in the topic.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • childfree
  • personal freedom
  • financial stress
  • raising children
  • nurturing the relationship
  • societal pressure
  • stigma
  • support network
  • companionship
  • legacy
  • regret
  • intimate bond
  • norm
  • invest in experiences
  • close-knit
What to do next:
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