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Band 5

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss hoth these views and give your own opinion.

#people #talents #sport #music #child #sports #person #musician #hoth
Some believe that people get talent inherently
while
 others argue that it can be instilled by certain practices for a specific period of
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
.
As well
Rephrase
I also
show examples
 said that "
practice
 makes a man perfect" and I strongly agree with
this
 statement rather than it has been a congenital.In
this
 essay,I will discuss both sides with
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
appropriate examples. On the one hand,it has been proved that kids get numerous things in inheritance
such
 as similar appearance,skin tone and some habits.
Moreover
,some child has
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 significant qualities
of
Change preposition
as
show examples
 their parents like
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 passion for dance,singing and
business
Correct article usage
the business
show examples
 field.For
this
,they do not have to
practice
 as much as they get from their ancestors.
For example
,some kids are extremely
intelligents
Correct your spelling
intelligent
 in
couting
Correct your spelling
counting
coating
scouting
 and calibrating things and it would be only possible by gratifications of congenital legacies.
On the other hand
,people argue that it can be possible by
practice
Wrong verb form
practising
show examples
 a task on a regular basis.Some skills only need regular training
otherwise
 it can not be possible without performing it in routine.
For instance
,
plethora
Correct article usage
a plethora
show examples
institutes
Change preposition
of institutes
show examples
 are providing numerous skill booster training programs like sports academies,language programs ,swimming classes and music courses,without
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 there would not be any chances to get prominent personalities for a nation.Not everyone gets these in their legacies,it is a
ramifications
Change the noun form
ramification
show examples
 of
an
Change the word
their
show examples
 extreme practices
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
To sum up
,
while
 arguing these controversies it will be considered that they can get some similarities from their ancients but
practice
 is the key to success and one can become a veteran in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 particular field by learning it through
practice
.
Submitted by jenny.15121996 on

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grammar
Work on sentence structure and grammar. There are a few grammatical errors that make parts of your essay difficult to understand.
ideas
Expand your ideas with more specific examples and detailed explanations to strengthen your arguments.
coherence
Use more transitional phrases to ensure a smoother flow between ideas and paragraphs.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easy to follow the overall argument.
task response
Both viewpoints are discussed, providing a balanced analysis of the topic.
relevance
The essay addresses the topic well and includes relevant points regarding talent and practice.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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