IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The best way to reduce poverty in developing countries is by giving up to six years of free education, so that they can at least read, write and use number. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#poverty #countries #six #years #education
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More developing nations are facing a range of problems and bankruptcy is the most important issue for them. One of the important solutions to decrease bankruptcy is providing free training for some years. I agree with that subject and in the upcoming paragraphs,
i
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I
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 shall discuss my point of view in detail. The poverty
circle
Correct your spelling
cycle
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 in some countries cannot be broken
due to
 the lack of free learning. Their government should be giving up free supplies to low-income classes, to have an occasion to learn and study. With those facilities, the poor or needy community can improve their literacy level and get higher income through educational degrees.
Therefore
, the government in the developing society, by investing in education,
in addition
 to training the specialized human resources needed for development programs, can
also
 prepare the preparations for reducing indigence classes.
Furthermore
, education is the key to improving the economy of these countries. People in developing nations need knowledge and skills and
this
 target can be achieved just by getting better the quality of society's learning and literacy. Providing free teaching helps children in developing countries gain basic literacy and numeracy skills, which are essential for personal and professional development. Educated individuals are more likely to participate in civic activities and contribute positively to their communities, leading to social stability and cohesion.
Also
, culture often leads to better health awareness and practices, reducing healthcare costs and improving
overall
 quality of life. In conclusion, providing free learning for
public
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the public
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 causes poverty to decrease and the quality of life in developing nations will increase.
Submitted by abphobos70 on

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task achievement
To improve task response, include more specific and relevant examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Refine the logical structure by ensuring smooth transitions between ideas to enhance coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
While the essay covers the main points, make sure to further develop and elaborate on each idea to provide a more comprehensive response.
general advice
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and consistency in vocabulary usage to make your arguments clearer and more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps guide the reader through the argument.
task achievement
The writing addresses the prompt directly and offers relevant arguments supporting the provision of free education in developing countries.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces the essay's argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • literacy and numeracy skills
  • economic development
  • generational poverty
  • civic activities
  • social stability and cohesion
  • health awareness
  • gender gap
  • empowerment
  • job opportunities
  • quality of life
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