In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Nowadays,
people
across the globe believe that it is beneficial to purchase their own property
, rather than renting out for the rest of their lives
. This
case is majorly caused by the willingness to achieve a
financial Remove the article
apply
stability
once they get older. I tend to believe that this
is a sign of a positive development since those with property
loans are likely to be encouraged in maintaining
their performances in Change preposition
to maintain
professional
Correct pronoun usage
their professional
lives
.
First and foremost, the main cause of individuals choosing to own a property
rather than renting is to secure their financial stability
in the near future
. If people
keep renting a house
and pay it monthly or yearly, they are likely to suffer from financial difficulties in the future
, rather than owning one. Those who possessed their own property
, for example
, will only have a ten-year mortage
loan. So once the ten-year period loan is all settled, they will Correct your spelling
mortgage
finally
be free from liabilities related to property
. In contrast
, those who have never owned a house
will have to pay for their accomodations
Correct your spelling
accommodations
accommodation
fee
for the rest of their Fix the agreement mistake
fees
lives
. Consequently
, having a
Correct article usage
apply
property
is essential for several people
, especially those who want to secure their economic stability
in the future
.
Such
a phenomenon is a sign of a positive development. People
who are motivated to buy a house
is
likely to be encouraged to have Correct subject-verb agreement
are
a
financial Remove the article
apply
stability
in order to pay for their mortgage as it is usually comes
with a higher amount of Change the verb form
usually comes
installment
, rather than the amount of renting. Those kinds of population, Change the spelling
instalment
therefore
, will maintain their performance in their office, so they can have a
career Remove the article
apply
stability
, Correct word choice
and securing
securing
their monthly salary which can be used to pay for their mortgage bills, either monthly or yearly. To illustrate, youngsters with a Wrong verb form
secure
ten-year-tenure
of Correct your spelling
ten-year tenure
property
loan will strive to do their best to avoid lay-offs, which sometimes result in a better performance at work. If they keep up the good work until ten years later, they will achieve such
a kind of financial stability
with a property
as their asset, and will not become a financial burden for their families or relatives during their retirement period.
In conclusion, the main purpose of individuals aiming to possess a house
is to secure their financial condition in the future
years. I believe that this
is a sign of a positive development as it brings motivations
and encouragement to several Fix the agreement mistake
motivation
people
in terms of securing their lives
during their golden years.Submitted by michellyonggo on
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coherence cohesion
While your essay is generally well-organized with clear main points, consider varying your sentence structures and using more diverse conjunctions to enhance the natural flow of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. For example, using phrases like 'In addition' or 'Moreover' can help in enhancing coherence.
task achievement
You have provided a complete response to the task, but you can further strengthen your argument by offering more specific examples and data to back up your points.
task achievement
Try to address potential counterarguments to show a well-rounded perspective. This can add depth to your essay and demonstrate critical thinking.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly sets up the topic and your stance, making it easy for the reader to understand the direction of your essay.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear and logical structure that makes your essay easy to follow. Each paragraph has a clear main idea that supports your overall argument.
task achievement
The examples and reasoning you provided are relevant and help to illustrate your points effectively.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.