The diagram illustrates how bees produce honey. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The following diagram illustrates the process of producing natural
honey
.
Overall
, it can be observed that there are seven distinct steps in the process, and the bees play an instrumental role, starting from Nectar procurement to storing it in hives
.
In the first stage of the process, the group of bees work really hard to build homes for themselves called hives
. Once done with building the hives
, they scout the nearby plantation and try to find the flowers with enriched nectars. After that, they suck out the fluid and transfer them to the little cells in the hives
, these cells play an important role in the preservation of the extracted fluid.
The collected nectar juice is then
cooled down as the bees swing their wings rapidly. In the next step, the water content in the honey
is evaporated naturally by the sun's heat which results in pure honey
. Finally
, this
raw honey
is packed in jars for consumption.Submitted by shahroz99dev on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words honey, hives with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼