The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
As
the
Correct article usage
apply
science
technology
Correct word choice
and technology
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
developed
fast Wrong verb form
developing
in
these days, Change preposition
apply
people
needs
to consider 'What is the most critical purpose of Change the verb form
need
science
technology
?'. Without understanding and thinking seriously about Correct word choice
and technology
this
problem, scientists can make dangerous and non-ethical
Correct your spelling
unethical
technology
easily. Globally, public world center
Fix the agreement mistake
centers
such
as UN
make a guideline for Correct article usage
the UN
alerting
Verb problem
addressing
this
problem and in
the Change preposition
apply
guideline
, Fix the agreement mistake
guidelines
it specifies
the aim of Wrong verb form
specify
science
. And it shows science
exists to improve people
's lives.
Human is the owner of this
earth and main
agent of creating Correct article usage
the main
this
world. So that
, Correct determiner usage
apply
people
has
to make Change the verb form
have
a
development in a way that Remove the article
apply
making
Wrong verb form
makes
a
quality of their lives higher than before. A few years ago, engineers worked hard Correct article usage
the
into making
AI Change preposition
to make
technology
elaborate because humans have a demand not to do repetitive and simple works
. Fix the agreement mistake
work
As a result
, now, AI surely did lots of works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
instead
of us.
However
, there is an important point that people
need to remember and keep in their mind while
they put so much effort in
developing Change preposition
into
technology
. They need to set the proper standard line that human
must not obey. Fix the agreement mistake
humans
For example
, that
certain Correct word choice
apply
technology
must not destroy Fix the agreement mistake
technologies
environment
, like making Add an article
the environment
a
global warming more Remove the article
apply
severely
. And that Change the word
severe
technology
must not lead a result that people
do
immoral Correct your spelling
to
action
. Fix the agreement mistake
actions
Furthermore
, the speed of Artifical
Intelligence growth is so fast and AI can deprive our unique ability, if we don't make any Correct your spelling
Artificial
regulation
for it.
In conclusion, making Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
people
's lives in
high quality is the main purpose of developing Change preposition
of
science
, but we need to keep doing it with
alerting the result when we don't consider ethical, Change preposition
by
social
Correct word choice
and social
effect
.Fix the agreement mistake
effects
Submitted by starmino0113 on
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task achievement
Clarify your argument in the introduction. Currently, your introduction is a bit confusing, and it would be beneficial to state your stance more clearly. For instance, you could say explicitly whether you agree or disagree with the statement that the most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives.
coherence cohesion
Improve logical flow between paragraphs. Consider using more transitional phrases or sentences to guide the reader through your argument more smoothly. This can help in maintaining coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Provide more detailed and relevant examples. While you mention AI, it would be beneficial to delve deeper into specific instances where AI has directly improved people's lives or posed ethical concerns.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a well-defined introduction and conclusion, which helps in wrapping up the argument neatly.
task achievement
You have grasped the essence of the topic and made a reasonable effort to answer the question by discussing both the benefits and potential drawbacks of scientific advancements.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?