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Band 5

the best way to plan a holiday is by not planning at all. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience

#plan #holiday
Planning
holiday
Correct article usage
a holiday
show examples
 and travelling is said to be the best way of spending
holiday
Correct article usage
a holiday
show examples
,
while
 some believe that not planning is the best way. I firmly agree with
this
 statement.
This
 essay will discuss both
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
show examples
 of travelling as a
tourist
 and a traveller with reasoned examples and present a personal opinion in the conclusion.
To begin
 with,
Tourist
 are the
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
 that
plans
Correct subject-verb agreement
plan
show examples
 ahead
everthing
Correct your spelling
everything
 due
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
time
 constraints.
Firstly
,
tourist
 travel to new places to relax themselves from their stressful lifestyle.
For instance
, a physiotherapist spends half of their lives rehabilitating their patients. They travel to new places to enjoy their free
time
 with their family and friends and escape from their real
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
On the contrary
, a person who is known to be a traveller travels without planning to gain his purpose to learn new things about new places to
experience
 new cultures, their norms, beliefs and
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 difficulties and challenges that they
faces
Change the verb form
face
show examples
 on a regular basis. The major difference between a
tourist
 and a traveller is
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
 spent
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the new place.
For instance
, one
spend
Change the verb form
spends
show examples
 only a week and
try
Correct subject-verb agreement
tries
show examples
 to travel
every
Change preposition
to every
show examples
 place to learn about its history,
Correct word choice
and cultures
show examples
cultures
Fix the agreement mistake
culture
show examples
 without knowing them from their personal
experience
.
However
, a person who travels
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
new place for a month and gets to learn about these things from their personal
experience
. In conclusion, I reaffirm my opinion that travelling is best when not planned and by spending more
time
 there. It is known to be the better
stretegy
Correct your spelling
strategy
 to learn culture and beliefs from personal
experience
.
Submitted by nick on

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task achievement
For Task Achievement, while your essay addresses the question, it could benefit from more specific examples and a deeper analysis of the topic. Consider providing more detailed anecdotes or data to support your points.
coherence cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, work on creating smoother transitions between ideas. Ensure each paragraph logically follows from the previous one. Additionally, while you have a clear introduction and conclusion, you might want to refine the progression of ideas within the body paragraphs.
general
Grammar and punctuation improvements would also enhance the overall clarity and impact of your writing. Focus on verb tenses, article usage, and agreement between subjects and verbs. For instance, 'tourist are the one' should be 'tourists are the ones'.
introduction
The introduction is clear and sets up the essay's structure effectively, providing a strong start.
conclusion
Your conclusion succinctly summarizes your stance and reinforces your main argument, which gives a sense of closure to your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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