Some people say that devoting one's time to family activities is more important than spending time working. Others believe that dedicating one's time to work is more important. Discuss both these views and give your own opinions.

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In our modern

life

Use synonyms

, as our career success

became

Wrong verb form

becomes

show examples

essential, there are huge gulf in people’s perception associated with

work

Use synonyms

and family.

While

Linking Words

numerous people consider spending quality

time

Use synonyms

with their family as the most important factor, a significant number of people prioritize their

work

Use synonyms

life

Use synonyms

over family activities. To fully address

this

Linking Words

divergence, it is crucial to delve into each opinion and try to understand it.

Firstly

Linking Words

, several individuals appreciate spending

time

Use synonyms

with their family. It is specifically for parents who have young children since they want to preserve their precious memories with their children by engaging deeply in each stage of their

Use synonyms

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

According to

Linking Words

survey

Add an article

a survey

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conducted by a Korean institution, about two-thirds of workers, who have been nurturing young children aged 0 to 10, responded that the productivity and efficiency of

work

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significantly increase, provided that they have enough family

time

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at home.

This

Linking Words

survey clearly

demonstrate

Change the verb form

demonstrates

show examples

that employees value their sufficient

time

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with family members.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

a significantly increasing number of individuals who underscore their career lives the most. For them, personal

fulfillment

Change the spelling

fulfilment

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and professional growth are the most important, crucial factors,

could

Correct pronoun usage

that could

show examples

guarantee their promotion and incentives at

work

Use synonyms

According to

Linking Words

the same

suvey

Correct your spelling

survey

, it

is appeared

Change to the active voice

appears

has appeared

show examples

that

this

Linking Words

preference is pervasive especially among young adults

Change preposition

between

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the ages of 25 to 35, who live independently. These young people

emphasizes

Change the verb form

emphasize

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their success, thereby prioritizing

work

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over family

time

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While

Linking Words

both views are logically sound and offer valid opinions, having more passion for

work

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Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

preferable because I desire to diversify my career

life

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for a long

time

Use synonyms

jb22809467Thu Jul 18 2024

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task achievement

To enhance task response, make sure to address all parts of the question thoroughly. You have discussed both views, but your own opinion could be expanded with more clarity and examples.

coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, work on creating smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas. Ensure that each paragraph logically follows the previous one.

relevant specific examples

Your examples are relevant and specific, making your points more compelling.

introduction conclusion present

You have a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

269 words

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Some people say that devoting one's time to family activities is more important than spending time working. Others believe that dedicating one's time to work is more important. Discuss both these views and give your own opinions.

Include an introduction and conclusion

With internet improvements, people can share views or opinions on certain goods or services that they have purchased. Is this a good or a bad thing? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that because some children find some subjects such as mathematics and philosophy difficult they ought to be optional instead of compulsory. To what extent do you agree?

Some people say that at all levels of education, from primary school to university, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree? Read my sample answer here. Reported on IELTS October 5th

The movement of people from agricultural areas to big cities has caused many problems at both places. What are the reasons of this problem and how can it be solved?

Across the world, local shops are closing due to losing customers to online competitors. What problems does this produce? And what solutions can you suggest to overcome them?