These days’ people in some countries are living in a “throw-away” society which means people use things in a short time then throw them away. What are the causes of this problem? What are the solutions?

Nowadays
people
in particular
areas live as consumerism which means they just utilize it for a little
while
and discard it. In the following paragraphs, the reasons behind
this
attitude will be explained, and the solutions will be discussed in detail.
To begin
with, there are several factors that contribute to throwing away. One of the main contributory factors might be laziness and availability of goods.
In other words
, These days there are a lot of products for any taste at any time, which means humans have too many choices.
In addition
,
advertising
Correct article usage
the advertising
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industry affects
on
Change preposition
apply
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people
and
attract
Correct subject-verb agreement
attracts
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them to try their products and buy some goods for more convenience,
Such
as the kind of fast foods and takeaway restaurants that produce meals in a short time. Another contributory factor can be overdependence on technology. To elaborate, desiring to have high-tech devices. Technology has become a fundamental part of our lives, allowing us to live comfortably.
But
Correct word choice
apply
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It causes
people
to become addicted to technology, which leads to
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
desire
frequently
Change preposition
for frequently
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updated gadgets.
However
several actions can be taken to tackle
this
issue. One practical solution is to pay attention to the hidden cost of each purchase.
In other words
, too often, when
people
buy something, they only look at sticker prices. But
this
is rarely the full cost. Every purchase always has other costs, it requires time and energy.
In addition
, they have to care for their well-being and health. Another effective measure is to look more at their motivations, it means advertisers try to show their product more appeal and do not tell the truth. In conclusion, many
people
are still addicted to buying something unnecessarily, so they should change their attitude about themselves and the world.
Submitted by arminafkhami on

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task achievement
Overall, your essay addresses the topic effectively, providing reasons and solutions related to a 'throw-away' society. However, work more on providing specific examples that are relevant and strengthen your points. Personal anecdotes, real-life examples, or statistics could help make your arguments more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Using appropriate linking words can help improve the flow of your essay. While your body paragraphs are generally clear, some sentences feel slightly disconnected; ensuring a logical flow of ideas will help improve coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your discussion on the topic. This helps the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
You effectively addressed both parts of the question, discussing the causes and providing possible solutions to the problem of a 'throw-away' society.
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