IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Global warming is one of the most serious issues that the world is facing today. What are the causes of global warming and what measurements can governments and individuals take to tackle the issue?

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Nowadays, the world is facing
phenomenon
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the phenomenon
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 of global warming which is one of the most serious problems.
This
Linking Words
problem
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 can lead to other issues,
such
Linking Words
 as climate change. There are some
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
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 why global warming can happen. Obviously, the solutions for
this
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 issue
Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
are also
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 available. I will discuss it below.
The global
Correct article usage
Global
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 warming
Wrong verb form
is
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was causes
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was caused
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 by
massiveness
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the massiveness
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 of
using
Verb problem
apply
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transportations
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 which need petrol or fuel.
Everyday
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Every day
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 a lot of vehicles are on the road and there is a gas that
was
Wrong verb form
is
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 out from it. That kind of gasses can make an ozone layer more thin. When the layer
got
Wrong verb form
gets
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 thinner, not just global warming but
also
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human
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humans
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 can
experienced
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experience
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 skin cancer
because
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because of
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 too much exposure
from
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to
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 the sun.
For instance
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, a factory
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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emit
Correct subject-verb agreement
emits
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 pollution can accelerate
the
Correct article usage
apply
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global warming.
However
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, there is an action that the
government
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 and the citizens can
do
Verb problem
take
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 to solve
this
Linking Words
problem
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. The
government
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 must encourage more people to use public
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transportations
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transportation
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. To achieve
this
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,
firstly
Linking Words
, the
government
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 have to make the access like busways or stations
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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accessible for everyone. A common reason why people do not want to take mass
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transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
 is because they feel uncomfortable on it. To illustrate, in Indonesia, there is a sexual assault
problem
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
of
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 a woman by strangers on a train.
Thus
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, the
government
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 have to focus on
this
Linking Words
. In conclusion, a high number of use private
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transportations
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transportation
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 and the pollution from fabric are the main
problem
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 that causes global warming. To
facing
Wrong verb form
face
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this
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 should increase the safety and
comfortness
Correct your spelling
comfort
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 public vehicles.

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and stick to it. The essay tends to veer off-topic slightly, especially when discussing skin cancer and sexual assault. Stay focused on the main topic of global warming.
Coherence & Cohesion
Improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Use more cohesive devices such as 'furthermore,' 'moreover,' and 'therefore' to connect ideas.
Task Achievement
Work on providing more specific and relevant examples that directly relate to the causes of and solutions to global warming. The examples given should be more directly tied to the argument being made.
Task Achievement
Avoid generalizations and provide more in-depth explanations. For example, explain how factory emissions contribute to global warming more clearly.
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the main points asked in the question: causes and solutions of global warming.
Coherence & Cohesion
There is a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • carbon footprint
  • renewable energy
  • carbon taxing
  • deforestation
  • industrial pollution
  • reforestation
  • conservation projects
  • public transportation
  • sustainable products
  • advocacy
  • raising public awareness
What to do next:
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