Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, more and more
people
think that promoting goods or services via
advertisement
is important to encourage
people
to purchase a product. In the meantime, the
remainders
Fix the agreement mistake
remainder
show examples
believe that
such
an activity fails to attract buyers as it is now being ignored by the public. I believe that when
people
are ignoring advertisements, it is because they are not interested in the
products
. Meanwhile, advertising is still relevant as it is essential in terms of business purpose. On the one hand, many
people
believe that advertising is no longer a successful way to catch the eye of their
customers
. In fact,
this
happens
due to
the audiences who are not interested
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
products
in the first place, which
mostly
Add a missing verb
is mostly
show examples
caused by the image associated with the
products
.
Consequently
, they tend to ignore the
advertisement
towards
such
products
as well.
For example
, non-smokers will never buy any cigarettes or vapes.
Therefore
, they are not going to pay attention to any kind of
campaigns
Fix the agreement mistake
campaign
show examples
,
such
as an
advertisement
, about
cigarette
Fix the agreement mistake
cigarettes
show examples
as they might think that it is harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
their well-being.
However
,
advertisement
is beneficial for companies. Promotions through many kinds of advertisements, like online advertising or word-of-mouth, play a pivotal role in influencing
people
to buy a certain product.
In other words
, advertising is impactful
to increase
Change preposition
in increasing
show examples
the demand from
customers
, especially if
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
involve
Correct subject-verb agreement
involves
show examples
famous influences. An
advertisement
about herbs and spices,
for instance
, will gain a lot of attention from
people
once the manufacturing company engages with the world-class celebrity chef, Gordon Ramsay.
As a result
,
customers
are likely to purchase their
products
as they believe
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
the value of the product based
what
Change preposition
on what
show examples
the celebrity is saying. In conclusion, some individuals may think that
advertisement
is no longer an effective way to attract
customers
these days.
Such
a phenomenon might be caused by the brand image associated with the
products
.
Thus
, for companies, promotion is still a necessary thing to do in terms of increasing their
customers
' demand, which is why they are involving many famous celebrities to influence the public.
Submitted by michellyonggo on

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language
Your essay could benefit from more precise vocabulary and grammar. Some sentences are slightly awkward and can be rephrased for better clarity.
coherence
Try to directly address the topic in the introduction and conclusion for stronger coherence. Currently, the connection between the topic and your conclusion could be more explicit.
task response
Provide a more balanced discussion by considering other factors that might influence the effectiveness of advertising, such as the medium of advertisement or the consumer's mindset.
structure
You have a clear and logical structure, which makes it easy to follow your arguments.
examples
Your use of relevant and specific examples significantly strengthens your main points.
introduction conclusion
The introduction and conclusion are present and help in framing your discussion well.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
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