#Crime | #Education - In many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solution can you suggest?
I Believe Education
Evolves
peoples' lives and Verb problem
Involves
thus
is crucial for each person's growth as well as
the human society as a whole.
The benefits of one
being educated are Numerous. It is said Correct pronoun usage
apply
to believe
that the window Verb problem
apply
which
you view the world Change preposition
through which
with
decides your Opinion about life and your surroundings. In an Academic environment, Individuals slowly begin to learn that every phenomenon Change preposition
apply
causes
Wrong verb form
is caused
due to
a scientific reason; be it a social phenomenon, political, physical, etc. The Individual learns that something can exist only if another thing has created it, or caused it to take place. Therefore
, there won't be any room left for superstition or a cycle of everlasting confusion, without the slightest bit of willingness to look for a solution, which i
Change the capitalization
I
Believe
to be significantly Fix capitalization
believe
Essential
for individual and social growth.
Education Fix capitalization
essential
also
protects people from all the unwanted hazards which come round
Correct your spelling
around
due to
lack
of knowledge and experience Until they are 18 years old. by hazards, I’m referring to two categories: 1- mistakes Correct article usage
a lack
2-wrong
Correct your spelling
2 wrong
decisions
.
Individuals might make mistakes that aren't ethical,
or mistakes that may put them in instant danger. by educating Remove the comma
apply
untill
18 Correct your spelling
until
yers
old, they can be rescued from people's accusations and learn more about Correct your spelling
years
moral
and ethics, Fix the agreement mistake
morals
As well as
learning about a variety of harmful situations and how to handle them. This
is also
how the second category, wrong decisions
saves individuals; they are not allowed to make significant decisions
for one's
Correct your spelling
their
life
until they study and dive more deeply into different subjects that they are willing to
Decision
make a decisionFix the agreement mistake
lives
about
, after they turn 18 and are determined Change preposition
apply
about making
those Change preposition
to make
decisions
and with the education supporting them , they are free to do as they please.Submitted by TUTOO on
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task response
Address the specific prompt more directly. The essay is about student behavior in schools, so focus on the causes and solutions related to that issue.
coherence cohesion
Ensure every paragraph has a clear topic sentence and follows a logical sequence. Your ideas jump around a bit, making it challenging to follow your argument.
coherence cohesion
Conclude your essay with a summary or wrap-up of the main points discussed. This helps in reinforcing your arguments and improves coherence.
task response
Use specific examples or case studies to illustrate your points better. This can add strength to your argument and show the relevance of your ideas.
task response
Your essay shows a strong belief in the importance of education, which is commendable.
task response
You discuss the broad benefits of education effectively, showing a good understanding of its potential impacts.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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