At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
"In the contemporary era, with the evolving social landscape, the
number
Use synonyms
of young
adults
Use synonyms
is greatly surpassing the
number
Use synonyms
of elderly
people
Use synonyms
in some
countries
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the question of whether
this
Linking Words
is a positive
trend
Use synonyms
has become a matter of considerable debate. From my perspective, I believe that
this
Linking Words
phenomenon brings about more benefits than downsides. There are some indicators that show
this
Linking Words
trend
Use synonyms
can drive a
country
Use synonyms
's progress and innovation.
Firstly
Linking Words
, many young
adults
Use synonyms
live in
countries
Use synonyms
that provide a wide range of job opportunities.
For instance
Linking Words
, Silicon Valley is known for its advancement in the technological industry and has a high demand for related talents;
therefore
Linking Words
, these young
people
Use synonyms
with relevant skills can improve
this
Linking Words
crucial industry. It not only generates substantial revenue but
also
Linking Words
fuels the enhancement of infrastructure,
such
Linking Words
as public transportation and health systems. Even more importantly, the influx of young
adults
Use synonyms
leads to creating an energetic and lively atmosphere in
countries
Use synonyms
. They can demonstrate a variety of creativity and high levels of productivity, both of which are essential components for
countries
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, many young
people
Use synonyms
are influencers or YouTubers who can use their platforms to raise their
country
Use synonyms
's profile by posting on social media or making short films. These actions can catch the attention of netizens, contributing to an increase in the
number
Use synonyms
of tourists, which in turn brings about more benefits for the
country
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, it is undeniable that
while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
trend
Use synonyms
causes certain concerning issues, making it harder for older
people
Use synonyms
to blend into society,
this
Linking Words
situation can be mitigated. In today’s digital age, easy access to a wide range of information and news diminishes the gap between older
people
Use synonyms
and young
adults
Use synonyms
, allowing them to have better connections. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
trend
Use synonyms
may pose some problems, there are approaches to alleviate them.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I believe that the rise in the
number
Use synonyms
of young
people
Use synonyms
in a
country
Use synonyms
contributes to enormous advantages,
such
Linking Words
as progress, innovation, and the improvement of public facilities, all of which are evident in
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
benefits outweighing drawbacks.
Submitted by zora840810 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

relevant specific examples
The essay could benefit from a wider range of specific examples to support the main points. Try to include more detailed and varied examples to strengthen your arguments.
clear comprehensive ideas
Although the ideas are clearly presented, ensuring that each main idea is thoroughly developed with supporting details and examples can enhance the comprehensiveness of your arguments.
logical structure
The essay presents a well-structured argument with a clear introduction and conclusion, and each body paragraph addresses a distinct point, contributing to a coherent and cohesive structure.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion and the conclusion aptly summarizes the main points, reinforcing the overall argument.
complete response
The essay provides a complete response to the task by addressing both the advantages and the potential disadvantages of the trend, concluding with a well-reasoned opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • innovation
  • skilled labor
  • social development
  • technology
  • dividend
  • competition
  • resources
  • social welfare
  • unrest
  • instability
  • healthcare
  • elderly care
What to do next:
Look at other essays: