IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Caring of children is an important thing of the society. It is suggested that all mothers and fathers should be required to take training courses. Do you agree or disagree?

#children #society #mothers #fathers #courses
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Caring
of
Change preposition
for
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 children is an important thing
of
Change preposition
in
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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society. It is suggested that all mothers and fathers should be required to take training courses. Do you agree or disagree? agree -ensure parents
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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take care
children
Change preposition
of children
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/ boost
confidence
Correct pronoun usage
their confidence
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 -training course
allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
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 them to raise children correctly way/method -not only physical
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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 but
also
Linking Words
 food nutrition disagree - experience from free source - google facebook twitter
Submitted by pasineekhanpakdee on

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task achievement
Ensure your introduction clearly presents your position. While the prompt asks whether you agree or disagree, outline your stance comprehensively (e.g.,"I agree because...").
task achievement
Include more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, mention real-life scenarios or studies that show the benefits of training.
task achievement
Work on expanding your main points with more detailed explanations. This will provide a more comprehensive overview of your stance.
coherence cohesion
Structure your essay more logically by ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and flows smoothly from one idea to the next.
coherence cohesion
Create a clearer conclusion that summarizes the main points and reinforces your position. A strong conclusion leaves a lasting impression on the reader.
task achievement
You presented a clear structure with points for both agreeing and disagreeing.
coherence cohesion
Your essay addresses different aspects of child care, like nutrition and behavior.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • equip (verb): to provide with necessary tools or skills
  • cater (verb): to attend to someone's needs or requirements
  • development stages (noun): specific times during a child's growth when certain physical or psychological changes occur
  • nutrition (noun): the process of providing or receiving the food necessary for health and growth
  • foster (verb): to promote the growth or development of something
  • mandatory (adjective): required by law or rules
  • infringement (noun): the action of limiting or undermining something
  • practicality (noun): the quality or state of being practical or realistic
  • accessibility (noun): the quality of being easy to obtain or use
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