Some people suggest that international news should study as a subject in secondary school . However,others say that it will be a waste of valuable school time. Discuss both views and give your opinoin.

There are humans said that international
news
must be studied in secondary schools as
an
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a
show examples
period,
Although
some
says
Correct subject-verb agreement
say
show examples
that
this
subjest
Correct your spelling
subject
is
Correct article usage
a wast
show examples
wast
Correct your spelling
waste
show examples
of time in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
.
This
easy
Change the word
easily
show examples
totally agrees with having international
newsas
Correct your spelling
news as
a
subject
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
secondary
school
, because that will help the
students
how to respect and
comunicat
Correct your spelling
communicate
with other nationality,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
these
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
may decrease student's grades. Having international
news
as a
subject
in the
school
will improve the
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
way of
comunication
Correct your spelling
communicating
and respecting other countries.
In other words
, that
subject
will let the
students
know what is happening in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other countries, so
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
will know what to say or do for a
person
from another
country
without
Correct article usage
a define
show examples
define
Wrong verb form
defined
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theme.
For example
,
whene
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when
a boy from
france
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France
show examples
talk
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talks
show examples
with a
person
from a
country
that
are
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is
show examples
suffering from not having enough food, he will know from the
news
that
this
person
from
this
country
may need some food or some help to provide some food . International
news
may increase the
students
Change to a genitive case
student's
students'
show examples
grade without having a benefit in future .
This
is
becouse
Correct your spelling
because
of paying attention
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
internatinal
Correct your spelling
international
news
homeworks
Correct your spelling
homework
or
exames
Correct your spelling
exams
and that may give the
students
some
prusure
Correct your spelling
pressure
and not
foucesing
Correct your spelling
focus
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the other subjects. International
news
will not help
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
future carers.
For example
, if
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students
have
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
of
homeworks
Correct your spelling
homework
in international
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
he will not pay attention
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
other subjects
becouse
Correct your spelling
because
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
want to have
a higher
Correct the article-noun agreement
a higher grad
higher grads
show examples
grads
Correct your spelling
grades
show examples
in
this
subject
,
this
subject
will not help the
students
in the
univesity
Correct your spelling
university
and
that is
a
wadt
Correct your spelling
waste
want
of time. In conclusion, I agree with having international
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
in secoundry
school
becouse
Correct your spelling
because
it
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
show examples
the student
comunication
Correct your spelling
communication
with
anther
Correct your spelling
another
show examples
person
Change noun form
person's
show examples
culture or
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
issues ,but it may
wast
Correct your spelling
waste
show examples
the
student
Change noun form
student's
show examples
time and
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
a low grades
Correct the article-noun agreement
low grades
a low grade
show examples
.
Submitted by msharyhashem on

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task achievement
Try to refine your introduction to clearly state both viewpoints before presenting your opinion. This will make your task response more comprehensive.
task achievement
Work on improving the clarity and depth of your ideas. Providing more specific examples and elaborating on your points will better illustrate your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and logical structure. This will help enhance overall coherence.
coherence cohesion
There are some grammatical inaccuracies and spelling mistakes that need attention. Proofreading your essay for these errors will improve readability and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Link ideas within and between paragraphs more explicitly. Using cohesive devices and transitional phrases will improve the logical flow of your essay.
task achievement
The essay discusses both views of the topic, providing insight into potential benefits and drawbacks of including international news as a subject in secondary schools.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion restates your opinion and summarizes the main points, providing a sense of completeness to the essay.
task achievement
You have attempted to justify your arguments with relevant examples, which contributes to task response.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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