Some people suggest that international news should study as a subject in secondary school . However,others say that it will be a waste of valuable school time. Discuss both views and give your opinoin.
There are humans said that international
news
must be studied in secondary schools as an
period, Change the article
a
Although
some says
that Correct subject-verb agreement
say
this
subjest
is Correct your spelling
subject
Correct article usage
a wast
wast
of time in Correct your spelling
waste
the
Correct article usage
apply
school
. This
easy
totally agrees with having international Change the word
easily
newsas
a Correct your spelling
news as
subject
in the
secondary Correct article usage
apply
school
, because that will help the students
how to respect and comunicat
with other nationality, Correct your spelling
communicate
however
these Add a comma
however,
subject
may decrease student's grades.
Having international Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
news
as a subject
in the school
will improve the children
way of Change noun form
children's
comunication
and respecting other countries. Correct your spelling
communicating
In other words
, that subject
will let the students
know what is happening in the
other countries, so Correct article usage
apply
he
will know what to say or do for a Correct pronoun usage
they
person
from another country
without Correct article usage
a define
define
theme. Wrong verb form
defined
For example
, whene
a boy from Correct your spelling
when
france
Change the capitalization
France
talk
with a Change the verb form
talks
person
from a country
that are
suffering from not having enough food, he will know from the Change the verb form
is
news
that this
person
from this
country
may need some food or some help to provide some food .
International news
may increase the students
grade without having a benefit in future . Change to a genitive case
student's
students'
This
is becouse
of paying attention Correct your spelling
because
on
Change preposition
to
internatinal
Correct your spelling
international
news
homeworks
or Correct your spelling
homework
exames
and that may give the Correct your spelling
exams
students
some prusure
and not Correct your spelling
pressure
foucesing
Correct your spelling
focus
in
the other subjects. International Change preposition
on
news
will not help in
future carers. Change preposition
apply
For example
, if the
Correct article usage
apply
students
have alot
of Correct your spelling
a lot
homeworks
in international Correct your spelling
homework
subject
he will not pay attention Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
in
other subjects Change preposition
to
becouse
Correct your spelling
because
he
want to have Correct pronoun usage
they
a higher
Correct the article-noun agreement
a higher grad
higher grads
grads
in Correct your spelling
grades
this
subject
, this
subject
will not help the students
in the univesity
and Correct your spelling
university
that is
a wadt
of time.
In conclusion, I agree with having international Correct your spelling
waste
want
subject
in secoundry Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
school
becouse
it Correct your spelling
because
improve
the student Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
comunication
with Correct your spelling
communication
anther
Correct your spelling
another
person
culture or Change noun form
person's
country
issues ,but it may Change noun form
country's
wast
the Correct your spelling
waste
student
time and Change noun form
student's
having
Wrong verb form
have
a low grades
.Correct the article-noun agreement
low grades
a low grade
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task achievement
Try to refine your introduction to clearly state both viewpoints before presenting your opinion. This will make your task response more comprehensive.
task achievement
Work on improving the clarity and depth of your ideas. Providing more specific examples and elaborating on your points will better illustrate your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and logical structure. This will help enhance overall coherence.
coherence cohesion
There are some grammatical inaccuracies and spelling mistakes that need attention. Proofreading your essay for these errors will improve readability and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Link ideas within and between paragraphs more explicitly. Using cohesive devices and transitional phrases will improve the logical flow of your essay.
task achievement
The essay discusses both views of the topic, providing insight into potential benefits and drawbacks of including international news as a subject in secondary schools.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion restates your opinion and summarizes the main points, providing a sense of completeness to the essay.
task achievement
You have attempted to justify your arguments with relevant examples, which contributes to task response.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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