Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for childern development while other think that it is crucial for childern if they go to the school. Discuss both the view and give your opinion.
Nowadays,
children
can access educational knowledge from anywhere and anytime since internet
has become one of the essential sources and some families Add an article
the internet
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
Add an article
a concern
concern
Fix the agreement mistake
concerns
in
Change preposition
about
Correct pronoun usage
their child's
child's
learning development. Fix the agreement mistake
children's
Althought
, some folk think that teaching Correct your spelling
Although
children
at home
is best for childern
development, Correct your spelling
children
other
believe that it is crucial for Correct pronoun usage
others
childern
if they go to the Correct your spelling
children
school
. In this
essay, both views will be discussed also
my perspective will be provided.
Some families understand Add an article
the circumstance
circumstance
of Fix the agreement mistake
circumstances
individual's
learning Correct article usage
an individual's
that
they have different learning Correct word choice
and that
progess
and Correct your spelling
progress
process
interested
in subjects from Add a missing verb
are interested
other student
. Change the wording
another student
other students
For example
, some youngsters can understand math quickly while
some children
cannot even understand the formula of math. For the
reason, Correct determiner usage
this
home
study would be a great way for those who has
talents or lack of learning progress which can be enforced with individual curriculum.
Change the verb form
have
While
many parents usually select private
Add an article
a private
the private
school
or public shool
for their child since it allows them Correct your spelling
school
have
time for working. Add the particle
to have
Moreover
, most of
parents believe that Change preposition
apply
children
should be taught in Correct your spelling
school
scool
as they can gain communication skills. Correct your spelling
school
For instance
, young people can play with their friends trough
team sports and communicate with teachers and Correct your spelling
through
friend
in the classes which is important for their development. Fix the agreement mistake
friends
Additionally
, I also
believe that not only communication skills in the
Correct article usage
apply
school
that importance
but Replace the word
important
also
they will happy
and Add a missing verb
be happy
less
Add a missing verb
have less
stress
Replace the word
stressed
comparing
with Wrong verb form
compared
home
studying.
To sum up
, even though some people think teaching children
at home
is the best way for them because curriculum
is designed for Add an article
the curriculum
individual
, Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
school
is a
essential place that allows them Change the article
an
have
communication skills, Add the particle
to have
happy
, and less Add a missing verb
be happy
stree
which I totally agree with.Correct your spelling
stress
Submitted by pasineekhanpakdee on
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introduction
The introduction is fairly clear but could be improved by rephrasing and correcting minor grammatical errors. Ensure that the opening clearly sets the context and presents both sides of the argument concisely.
cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, use more transitional phrases to smoothly connect ideas and paragraphs. For example, 'On the other hand,' 'Furthermore,' and 'In addition' can help guide the reader through your arguments.
supporting points
Expand on the main points with more detailed explanations and examples. This will make your argument stronger and more compelling. For example, provide more specific situations where homeschooling benefits certain children and specific instances of skills developed in school.
grammar
Revise and proofread your essay for grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. This will improve clarity and make your arguments more persuasive.
task response
The essay addresses both viewpoints, which is essential for a balanced discussion.
introduction conclusion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the discussion.
supporting points
Some good points are mentioned for both homeschooling and traditional schooling, showing an understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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