Today many children spend a lot of time playing computer games and little time on sports. Why is this? Is it a positive or negative development? You should write at least 250 words.

#children #time #computer #games #sports #development

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Children

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are often looking for a little entertainment. In

this

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modern

world

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world,

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children

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spend more

time

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apply

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playing

computer

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games

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and less

time

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in sports. I think

this

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negative development is because of the new invention of

computer

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games

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that looks more attractive. After

the

Correct article usage

apply

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computer

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games

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have been developed,

children

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are

Unnecessary verb

apply

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often spend

time

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apply

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playing video

games

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which they feel more attractive and addictive too. These virtual

games

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allow an individual to play with anyone around the world with the help of the internet which makes the

children

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forget about outdoor

games

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For instance

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, later the survey says more than 60% of the

children

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are playing GTA which gives a real-world experience to the player. Playing

this

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game will makes an individual more fun and engaging. Some

computer

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games

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can be educational and help them to develop problem-solving skills

that

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apply

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resulted

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resulting

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childern

Correct your spelling

children

started

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apply

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developing their own educational video

games

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which

also

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helped

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help

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them develop their knowledge and

computer

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skills. There are

also

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some potential drawbacks to

children

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spending too much

time

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apply

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playing

computer

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games

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For example

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, Sitting in front of a screen for a long

time

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will result in sleeping problems, and eye problems that will directly affect them in their future life. In conclusion, there are more negative developments to

children

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spending more

time

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playing

computer

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games

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than playing other sports. The key is for parents to be aware of

the

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apply

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these potential risks and help their

children

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to make a perfect balance to lead a healthy life

Submitted by insighttribez on Thu Jul 18 2024

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task achievement

Make sure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the task. You have identified reasons why children play computer games more than sports but the explanation could be more thorough and diversified.

coherence cohesion

Work on developing a clearer and more logical structure in your essay. Each paragraph should have a clear purpose and should connect smoothly to the next paragraph.

coherence cohesion

Ensure your ideas are clear and comprehensively elaborated. For example, your mentioning of potential drawbacks is good, but expanding on how these drawbacks affect children’s overall development would make your point stronger.

task achievement

Use more specific examples to support your points. Specific examples lend credibility to your argument and provide a solid grounding for your assertions.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction is effective and clearly states your position on the topic, providing a good foundation for the essay.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reinforces your position, which is a key aspect of a well-structured essay.

task achievement

You've made a good attempt at addressing both positive and negative aspects of computer games, providing a balanced view which enhances the quality of your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5

5.5

Logical structure

6.5

Introduction & conclusion present

5.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

5.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

253 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

allure
captivate
supervise
accessible
scarcity
safer alternative
peer pressure
educational tools
cognitive skills
implications
obesity
poor posture
hand-eye coordination
problem-solving abilities

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Today many children spend a lot of time playing computer games and little time on sports. Why is this? Is it a positive or negative development? You should write at least 250 words.

Fully explain your ideas

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that it is more important to teach children the literature of their own country than other countries. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think advertisements control what we purchase, while others think they are useful sources of information on products. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Although abuse of the system is inevitable, social welfare payments are essential to protect the rights that citizens have to a guaranteed minimum income in a democratic society. Do you agree or disagree?