When children start school, teachers have more influence on their intellectual and social development than their parent. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#children #school #teachers #influence #development #parent

The best way for

children

to education is neither family nor

teachers

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because after

school

, parents begin to play a role kiddo's life.

This

essay discusses

parent's effect

Fix the agreement mistake

parents'

show examples

and

teacher 's

Fix the agreement mistake

teachers'

show examples

precious on

children

's development.

Change preposition

show examples

beginning

Correct article usage

the beginning

show examples

,before the

children

do not yet start education in

school

, the family take care of them,

furthermore

mother is the first tutor for the kiddos.

For example

, several people are taught by mothers or fathers

such

count

Replace the word

counting

show examples

numbers

Change preposition

from 1

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to 10 ,

learning

Wrong verb form

learn

show examples

basic colours, and most of all talking abilities. Not only family is like a master but

also

they support

children

's spiritual manners. It seems to me that we can not compare family and

teachers

because they have different roles

therefore

this

aspect is inappropriate for rules of morality.

Besides

, all around the world, every kid needs to connect with their mothers or fathers. Even ıf they are observed by

teachers

when they are in

school

On the other hand

, many people believe that when

children

start education

teachers

can replace family or after that, they are members of the family for

children

For example

students who

Change the verb form

are

show examples

under the age of 8 ,

every

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

questions

Change to a singular noun

question

show examples

are asked whether they to

teachers

Fix the agreement mistake

teacher

show examples

whether

Change preposition

apply

show examples

permission for toilet or eating time. At

this

point, tutors become like

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

mother

Fix the agreement mistake

mothers

show examples

father

Fix the agreement mistake

fathers

show examples

Moreover

, all parents should trust

teachers

because when their kiddos are in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

school

teachers

begin taking over the role of the family .

For instance

, in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

kindergarten,

children

are taken care of wistfully in order to they do not feel to lack of parents.

To conclude

, In my opinion, the family is an unforgiven issue for

children

nonetheless

we can not overlook to teacher's effect on a child's life.

Submitted by kickbox191 on Thu Jul 18 2024

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task achievement

The introduction is quite brief and does not clearly indicate the essay's position on the topic. It would be beneficial to make a clear stance whether you agree or disagree with the statement.

coherence cohesion

There are some grammatical mistakes and awkward phrasing, such as 'To beginning' and 'unforgiven issue.' Proofreading the essay to correct these errors will enhance readability.

coherence cohesion

The essay lacks a clear logical structure. Instead of jumping between ideas, try to organize your points more coherently. For example, discuss the role of parents first in one paragraph, and then the role of teachers in the next.

task achievement

The essay provides multiple examples to support the main points, such as mentioning that mothers and fathers teach basic skills before school.

coherence cohesion

You’ve highlighted the unique roles that both parents and teachers play in a child's development, which adds depth to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

291 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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When children start school, teachers have more influence on their intellectual and social development than their parent. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Fully explain your ideas

In many cities, an increasing number of people do not know their neighbors and the sense of community is lost. Discuss the causes and give measures to turn it around.

The process diagram details the steps by which liquid chocolcate is produced from cocoa beans.

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think secondary school students should study international news as one of their subjects. Other people say this is a waste of valuable school time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or negative development?