A lot of people nowadays are spending too much money and they don’t save anything for future use. Is this a positive or a negative development?

Many people nowadays are spending way too much money and not saving anything for the future.
While
I understand that certain
individuals
prefer to live an unrestricted life with freedom, I strongly believe that
this
must be considered a negative development, as many potential problems can arise from
this
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
. There are several reasons why
this
is highly likely to cause severe problems
to
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for
show examples
individuals
.
Firstly
, many industries are dependent on
fast-fashion
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fast fashion
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, so many workers are strictly affected by
this
type of work, particularly the ones with a low wage and long hours of work.
For instance
, many children and teenagers are forced to work for long months on end for little to no money, leading to many health issues and severe poor conditions.
Secondly
, a lack of responsibility can result from
this
type of
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
, leading to financial insufficiencies and possibly poverty.
Finally
, many children and teenagers are easily influenced;
thus
learning inadequate expenditure of money can lead to
further
consequences
to
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for
show examples
newer generations with serious issues.
Furthermore
,
this
can
also
be seen as a type of addiction, causing a severe mental state if done
on
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in
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the
long-term
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long term
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. Many countries and regions should begin acknowledging
this
problem before it begins to spread widely across the globe.
Although
some have a big family, which causes huge amounts of expenses in day-to-day life and
overall
spendings
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spending
show examples
, including groceries, shopping for clothes, and healthcare necessities, setting a strict budget to minimize excessive
spendings
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spending
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is crucial.
Additionally
, there is a massive effect on the earth's surface
due to
the greenhouse emissions,
such
as methane, carbon dioxide, and
nitrogeneous
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nitrogenous
gase
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gases
severly
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severely
affecting the population and the
overall
well-being of
individuals
. In conclusion, the excessive expenditure of
individuals
and families is increasingly growing which is
severly
Correct your spelling
severely
dangerous to everyone
which
Correct word choice
and
show examples
is causing many consequences and
under development
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underdevelopment
show examples
of regions worldwide.
Submitted by ayatalsabahe on

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relevant specific examples
Ensure all examples are directly relevant to the main point being discussed. For instance, mentioning fast fashion as a reliance on non-savers could be framed more clearly in the context of individual spending habits.
complete response
Refine the introduction by slightly broadening the context before diving into the argument. This helps the reader acclimatize to the topic discussion more comfortably.
clear comprehensive ideas
Minimize minor grammatical errors and unclear phrases, such as 'this problem before it begins to spread widely across the globe.' Clarifying the specifics will enhance coherence.
logical structure
The essay successfully uses connective words and phrases to maintain a clear flow of ideas from one paragraph to the next.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly presents the topic and the author's viewpoint, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed.
supported main points
The main points, such as the lack of financial responsibility and the adverse effects on newer generations, are well-supported with logical arguments.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic instability
  • financial trouble
  • emergencies
  • economic downturns
  • financial security
  • long-term goals
  • higher education
  • retiring comfortably
  • paycheck to paycheck
  • stress and anxiety
  • mental health
  • stimulate the economy
  • generate employment
  • business growth
  • debt accumulation
  • consumerism culture
  • material goods
  • personal development
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