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Band 6

The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in a country in 1950 and 2010.

The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in a country in 1950 and 2010.
#show #household #expenditures #country
The pie charts provide data about
household
 average
expense
Fix the agreement mistake
expenses
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on
Change preposition
in
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 six primary categories between 1950 to 2010.
Overall
，housing accounted for the highest proportion far more than other categories, at that period most
of
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apply
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families ignored
health
care
. After 6 decades,
household
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
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 on housing obviously decreased;
However
,
health
Correct your spelling
healthcare
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care
 expenditure increased at the same time. Delving into details, in 1950
household
spend
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spending
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 on housing constituted the highest expenditure with 72.1%, followed by food at 11.2%. The third largest
expense
 is education with 6.6%.
Whereas
 it is obvious that
household
 expenditure on transportation and
health
care
 is far less
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
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other
Change preposition
to other
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 categories, with 3.3% and 2.4, respectively.
Additionally
, other
expense
Fix the agreement mistake
expenses
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 accounted for 4.4%. After 60 years, it is
noticeable
Add an article
the noticeable
a noticeable
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household
cost
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costs
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on
Change preposition
of
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 housing decreased
a
Remove the article
apply
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half from 72.1% to 22%.
However
, a significant increase can
be see
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be seen
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 in food which made up the highest proportion with 34%.
Moreover
,
expense
Fix the agreement mistake
expenses
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on
Change preposition
of
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health
care
 increased
almost
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by almost
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 doubled at 4.5%.
In addition
,
household
 spending on other and transportation
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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obviously increased a lot with 19.2% and 14% respectively.
Whereas
 education slightly decreased from 6.6% to 6.3% over the period.
Submitted by duzirong on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, whereas".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words household, expense, health, care with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
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