The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Nowadays, many
people
think that humans are likely to suffer in the future. I firmly diagree
with Correct your spelling
disagree
this
statement because there will be a lot of improvements in vaccinations. Moreover
, people
's awareness towards the importance of nutrient-rich
diet has increased even in the present day.
First and foremost, scientists are currently conducting Correct article usage
a nutrient-rich
a
research to discover several kinds of vaccines and supplements that can boost Remove the article
apply
Correct article usage
the human's
human's
immune system. Change noun form
human
In other words
, people
become resistant to disease and have the ability to fight against viruses. Such
a phenomenon, therefore
, can lead to increase
Correct article usage
an increase
people's
life expectancy. Change preposition
in people's
For example
, scientists are developing vaccinations against the deadly HIV virus. Consequently
, in the future, people
around the world would
be able to prevent AIDS as their immune system can help to protect us from Wrong verb form
will
such
viruses.
Furthermore
, societies are now rising
their awareness towards the importance of a balanced diet. In fact, individuals Correct your spelling
raising
concern
about the quality of the ingredients Wrong verb form
are concerned
that
contained in their food and beverages. If they do not believe in the quality of the products at a particular Correct pronoun usage
apply
convenient
store, most Replace the word
convenience
of
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
, especially the
youngsters, are reluctant to buy from them. To illustrate, the number of Correct article usage
apply
people
who prefer to purchase the
organic fruit and vegetables at grocery stores Correct article usage
apply
is keep
increasing. Wrong verb form
keeps
Moreover
, starting from now, farmers tend to produce a better quality of food by avoiding the use of fertilizers and chemical modifications.
In conclusion, I strongly diasgree
that Correct your spelling
agree
people
's health will deteriorate in the future since scientists have undergone several projects to create vaccines and vitamins to improve our health and the public has gained a lot of awareness regarding the benefits of a healthy diet routine.Submitted by michellyonggo on
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Language Accuracy
Work on eliminating spelling errors such as 'diagree' and 'diasgree' to enhance the professionalism of your essay.
Language Sophistication
Improve the complexity of sentence structures for a higher score. Consider using a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences.
Task Achievement
It would be beneficial to include counterarguments to demonstrate full consideration of the question's different aspects. Briefly discuss why some people might think health standards will decline, and then refute those points.
Organization
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion that address the prompt effectively.
Content Development
Each main point is supported with relevant examples, such as advancements in vaccinations and awareness of balanced diets.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay maintains a coherent flow with logical transitions between ideas.