In today's competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents go out to work. While some say the children in their families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parent’s absence. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own.
In the era of globalization, new payments have been raised.
This
made Linking Words
parents
conscious about the future. They are trying their best for their Use synonyms
kids
. Use synonyms
Therefore
, a diverse range of Linking Words
parents
believe that it is essential for Use synonyms
both
of them to Use synonyms
work
to elevate their life quality, Use synonyms
while
others assume that if they Linking Words
both
Use synonyms
work
their Use synonyms
kids
will be frustrated. In Use synonyms
this
essay, I will elaborate on Linking Words
both
statements.
On the one hand, burdens have been increased Use synonyms
due to
bills and inflation. Linking Words
This
made a lot of individuals are struggling and can not endure more. Linking Words
Moreover
, They want to have better lives for their Linking Words
kids
. They Use synonyms
work
together to increase their income and save some money for the future. Use synonyms
In addition
, they want to Linking Words
work
as they are young, Use synonyms
as a result
, they can retire early to spend enough time with their adolescents. Linking Words
For instance
, In Egypt, Linking Words
both
Use synonyms
parents
are working to raise their wages. Their income is low , Use synonyms
thus
for a better social life, they Linking Words
work
together.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, Linking Words
this
can have a side effect on our children. They will feel that the money is more crucial than them. Linking Words
Furthermore
, they will feel that they can not play with their Linking Words
parents
and do not have any feelings for them. Moving Use synonyms
further
, they will get raised by others , Linking Words
hence
they will assume that they are their real lovers. Linking Words
For example
, in Middle Eastern countries, most affluent persons are bringing maids to serve their Linking Words
kids
. Use synonyms
This
made a lot of Linking Words
kids
Use synonyms
are loving
them Wrong verb form
love
instead
of loving Linking Words
Use synonyms
parents
.
In conclusion, we should balance between balance and Correct pronoun usage
their parents
work
. Our children have the right to spend a lot of time with us and obtain love from us. If the income is enough for one person and it can make us have a suitable life, Use synonyms
then
the other person can stay home to take care of the children.Linking Words
Submitted by mohannadsme on
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grammar
Ensure grammatical structures and expressions are accurate and natural. For instance, the second sentence in the introduction could be clearer: 'This has made parents more conscious of their children's future.'
examples
Try to provide more specific examples that illustrate your points more vividly. Currently, the example about Egypt is somewhat general.
coherence
Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs. The transition between discussing benefits and drawbacks could be more fluid.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, summarizing the main points effectively.
task response
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
clarity
The arguments are generally clear and are supported with appropriate points and examples.