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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The following bar chart shows the different modes of transport used to travel to and from work in one European city in 1960, 1980 and 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The following bar chart shows the different modes of transport used to travel to and from work in one European city in 1960, 1980 and 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #modes #transport #travel #work #european #city #information #features #comparisons
The chart demonstrates the various means of transport
such
 as buses, cars,
bikes
, and foot used by the employees of
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 European city in the years 1960, 1980 and 2000.
Overall
,
it is clear that
 the
walkers
Correct quantifier usage
number of walkers
show examples
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
diminished over the
period
.
In contrast
, the
uasage
Correct your spelling
usage
 of cars was prioritised.
However
, walkers were more in number compared to the bike riders In the initial
period
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of the
employes
Correct your spelling
employees
show examples
, about 40%, preferred walking on foot to their working place.
However
, the pedestrians were reduced throughout the
period
 and
finally
, they constitute about one-fourth of their initial population.
In addition
,
bikes
 were the secondary choice in the early years. About 25% of the working staff used
bikes
 in 1960. Their usage was
also
 minimised over the
period
 and bike riders were just one-fifth of their previous number.
Moreover
, buses were used by the Canadian working force(18%) next to
bikes
 in the year 1960. Their utilisation was maximised in the next two
dacades
Correct your spelling
decades
.
In contrast
, their use was minimised and remained as the secondary choice for the year 2000.
Furthermore
, car transportation was less preferred in 1960.
However
, their usage
was augmented
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 rapidly and equals the proportion of walkers for the year 1960.
Submitted by sivaleelamahendra1214 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, in contrast".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words bikes, period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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