IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The following bar chart shows the different modes of transport used to travel to and from work in one European city in 1960, 1980 and 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The following bar chart shows the different modes of transport used to travel to and from work in one European city in 1960, 1980 and 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #modes #transport #travel #work #european #city #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The chart demonstrates the various means of transport
such
Linking Words
 as buses, cars,
bikes
Use synonyms
, and foot used by the employees of
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 European city in the years 1960, 1980 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the
walkers
Correct quantifier usage
number of walkers
show examples
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
diminished over the
period
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the
uasage
Correct your spelling
usage
 of cars was prioritised.
However
Linking Words
, walkers were more in number compared to the bike riders In the initial
period
Use synonyms
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of the
employes
Correct your spelling
employees
show examples
, about 40%, preferred walking on foot to their working place.
However
Linking Words
, the pedestrians were reduced throughout the
period
Use synonyms
 and
finally
Linking Words
, they constitute about one-fourth of their initial population.
In addition
Linking Words
,
bikes
Use synonyms
 were the secondary choice in the early years. About 25% of the working staff used
bikes
Use synonyms
 in 1960. Their usage was
also
Linking Words
 minimised over the
period
Use synonyms
 and bike riders were just one-fifth of their previous number.
Moreover
Linking Words
, buses were used by the Canadian working force(18%) next to
bikes
Use synonyms
 in the year 1960. Their utilisation was maximised in the next two
dacades
Correct your spelling
decades
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, their use was minimised and remained as the secondary choice for the year 2000.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, car transportation was less preferred in 1960.
However
Linking Words
, their usage
was augmented
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 rapidly and equals the proportion of walkers for the year 1960.
Submitted by sivaleelamahendra1214 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, in contrast".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words bikes, period with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: